AZDuffman's Blog

You never know if someone is picking up on craps for sure. Last night teaching a guy to play. Slow night, small crowd. He does the usual confusion of before and after a point is established but mostly gets it. But I was not sure until his buddy comes up and throws the dice. Guy gets them about halfway down the table.

AZD: "NO ROLL"

Player: "You seem to know the game, did your husband teach you?"

Now that is a guy you want to hit the table with!

I don't know why have IT people if you have to do half the stuff yourself.

Local IT guy does not have the admin access to the client's computers on our desks. OK, fine. But the help center is so next to useless it is hard to believe. Printers, installing them should be simple. Some things that should be simple are not so much.

So I get hired and the printer does not work. I am not at all trained beyond self-trained. But I can do some things. I knew it needed the drivers installed. Call the help line, which is a typical India help line where they are hard to understand and not all that useful. I have read that places like India might produce people who know software and other engineering, but they really fall down because if it is not "in the book" they cannot function. Same as my brother tells me about non-western pilots. In the book, adequate. Have to assess and decide, awful.

So I call and waste some time letting them play around and finally say it is the drivers. Person does not want to try it but somehow they try to find them online. They fail. Eventually I find them myself with them on the phone. All they do, and I do not exaggerate, is OK the download as an admin. I mean I had to find the web page then find the drivers on the web page. I never expect it to be exactly perfect, but I do not expect to have to not only do it myself but at the same time fight the India help desk every step of the way.

Fast forward. New computer and the printer has a hiccup where it cannot find its own drivers. I waste 5+ hours on the phone with India trying to install it and a crash. I tell the "escalated" guy the problem and simply refuse to even let him access as I have wasted so much time I was behind for a week. I keep asking a supervisor to print and scan, not all that often but enough. She tells me to get the thing fixed and I flat refuse, saying to get someone to come by because calling is useless.

Few weeks later to today. IT guy has drives on a disk, and I have developed enough IT street cred he just flips it to me with some instructions. Or he hates me and refuses to help? No kidding, 20 minutes! I call India and say to just approve the install. DONE.

Woman next to me having similar issues. Her PC has no drive. I am trying to do the "become the sheepdog" thing so I step in, ask him about a thumb drive. No dice. Shoot ideas about saving to desktop first. Finally, again street cred or tired of me, he gives me the OK to try it. I go over and she is on phone with India, I just say, "HANG UP, we will fix it ourselves." Download took more time, but got it to the point we just had to call. "Call and give your info, then put me on!" Had to tell the guy three or so times all I wanted was him to check the little box with his password, I did all the lifting. To be fair the box "popped under" but did he suggest to look at that? Whadder you think?!

End of my therapy rant, got it working. She is happy and the "kids" we are surrounded half in awe of the old guy getting the flipping thing working when nobody else could or would.

Hopefully it builds the sheepdog cred just enough but not too much.

Sad state of USA society that when I saw the cops I knew the prom was nearby. But it was actually a decent crowd. Hardest part is I am not a night person. Weird since I enjoy the overnight shift. But to work just until very late and I am dragging. Then I noticed I was on craps. Craps takes the most energy to deal, by far. But then the kid started playing, and the kid really picked up on the game!

Alright, I set up and as sometimes happens there are early birds. Had to tell them mostly to wait a few minutes. One thing about working proms is you get the same crowds. You get a few guys who had dates abandon them or are there alone, they hang out. I try too be extra nice to them because they remind me of myself, and proms remind me how much I hated that whole social scene back then. They want to hang all night. Not much else to do besides dance, which they probably hate doing. Next group is couples trying out everything. Social butterflies, they will play 20 minutes and leave. Not that they are rude, but they just do not see playing casino games as good prom time. Finally some groups of girls try and leave after a few minutes. The game is too much work for them, they are out to have fun. The girls never, ever come up and play alone like the stag guys. All these years I doubt I have had three women come up alone and try to learn to play. To plagiarise from piano teachers everywhere, "they don't want to learn how to play, they want to know how to play."

One kid made 4 or 5 passes in a row. My guess is the day he turns 21 he goes to a casino and blows a moth's pay on craps because he found it so easy. The usual people who can't manage to throw dice 4 feet without making a mess of things. I did not even bother explaining place or prop bets because I knew that most players would last 15 minutes at most and I would be explaining more than dealing as it was.

But I got lucky. Some kid, said name was Alex, the dude took about 5 minutes to get it. Like most he was lost when I explained it before the first throw. Always happens, I tell people just put a bet and learn. Guy sees it, connects what I said, and a freaking 300W bulb lights up in his head. I get him to start explaining the game to the walk-ups. He felt important doing it. I even had him selling the Field Bet! (I did Pass and Field only for teaching.) After people left I gave a "hey, you, commere!" and explained how bad that bet was. Dude was still selling it!

Showed him the free odds bet. As usual that one took a little for him to grasp. Nobody ever gets it right away. Explained how every bet had an edge, how the edge varied among bets, and how to play smart. Kid was a sponge. Soaked it all up. I literally told him that the day he turns 21 to go to the local casino and apply to be a dealer. Said tell them I sent you. Said they have no idea who I am but what the hey!

Always a good feeling to help America's yutes.

Consider this a rant so I can sleep better and not a gambling post to avoid the non-compete with Zuga.


Anyways, I earned my money tonight. As a reminder, when I deal craps I deal it alone, no base dealers to help me out. First hour was insane betting, but I kept it all together. When I teach craps I try to stress in a PC way that craps is a "man's game." Not meaning that women cannot or should not play, but that you had better know what the heck you are doing when you play and not get upset when a dealer tells you that you need to do something or not do it at a certain point. That you will be talked to in shorthand because to keep the came moving is the cardinal rule. That dealers will "mess with you" to an extent. And that if you cannot take this then you might want to try another game.

But the night showed why this is no longer a world of men we are living in. One woman and two men just did not get it.

Woman, older at least late 60s. Daughter or something helps her at first. I have to stop her a few times from placing her own place bets. I ask very, very nice and explain to let me place them. She keeps doing it and each time I flick the chip back at her and when I finish what I was doing I explain again. I nearly lost it one time.

What I said: "Ma'mm I don't mean to yell at you but I need to set those bets a certain way. I need to keep track of all of the players."

What I wanted to say, "Lady, this is the fifth time I have asked you to keep your GD hands out of that part of the table. Next time I am going to smash your hand with this stick and throw your chips across the room. If you want to put little chips on numbers yourself the roulette table is right behind me!"

Sorry, not about lack of manliness but I am just a bit wired from a crazy night.

Next guy, not at all a manly guy. Shooter throws a 7 so I start to clean up.

"Hey, I just put that down!"
"Yes, and a 7 came up. You lost."
"But I thought that if you put it down the first roll you won on a 7/11?"
"Just when the point is off. If you want that kind of bet you make a COME bet."
"What?"
I explain the COME bet, he soon leaves, upset he lost two chips with no cash value.

Sorry, Bo, this is how the game is played.

This part is a touch confusing. Two men and one woman to my right, second base side. Call them SB1, SB2, and SB3 with 3 being the lady.

SB2 is being an irritant all night. I do not mind explaining the game. I enjoy teaching it. But I do not enjoy having to say literally half a dozen times that you do not book place bets when the puck says "OFF." I do not enjoy having to say a second half-dozen times that when it is OFF you do not mane COME bets. And I am sorry but you are a total moron if you have been playing more than 10 minutes and you have to ask the point. This one did that again half a dozen times.

SB2 also wanted to shoot. Asked when he could and I said he could when it was his turn. It was taking time because we had several shooters make 2-3 points and as I said, he was 2 to my right so he was second to last.

Here is where the real fun begins. One to his right is a SB3, a woman who was playing but did not always have a PASS bet. She did put one down to shoot. I slide the dice to her and he starts getting agitated, said she was a walk-up and it was his turn, he had been waiting. My general attitude was that I was letting the lady shoot and act like a man and wait your turn. He leaves his bet and storms off, maybe to get a beer. She sees he is upset and refuses to throw the dice. Now somehow SB1 and her man (husband/BF) have words which escalates to a back and forth of "EFF-YOU"s.

Some folk are getting between them but even the runt than I am I start thinking of what to do if I need to help pull them apart. Lucky for me SB3's man is moved away from it all. She has by now left. SB2 is also gone. So I try to get SB1 to shoot. He doesn't want to. SB2 comes back after a minute (seemed like 30) and I explain to him to shoot, at the same time some other player asks how he can complete the roll? I have had enough and give a polite answer about it not mattering but firm enough to mean "because I said so!" Quick seven-out and I let same guy have his own roll both for fairness and to keep some peace.

You would think that is the end of SB2, but nope. Night ends and we give tickets for door prizes. He has them in a cup. Asks me what to do with them.

"Count the total and I will give you tickets."
"What do I do with them."
"Count them up."
"I can't count."

I just go about my work because by now I have had enough of his nonsense and I do not have time to count the chips of all the players. I will help a senior citizen if needed, or someone needs help. He is perfectly capable but eventually someone helps him. *facepalm*

OTOH, one player knew what he was doing and shot before I placed his old COME bet. Mainly my fault but he accepted part of the fault. I joked that I was holding him to a higher standard because he clearly knew how to play. He was cool with that, maybe some manly men still around! He thanked me after the game as well.

Post-secondary trade school, for those of you in Rio Linda it is sort of a private, for-profit junior college as in addition to trades they do business, accounting, and criminal justice. Scene is their annual casino night, poker table. Giving some education to players for my own sanity vs dealing when they have no idea how to play.

After showing some good vs bad hands, I go into percentages. I forget the exact hand, maybe a gut shot straight, but there were 4 outs. I explain that there are 47 cards left. 4 outs.

"What's 47/4?"

Dead silence. No idea how to figure it out. Can't even start the long division (4 into 40......) in their heads. I am saying, they were at the level of children, 4th or 5th grade, if that.

Anyone else see this happen, this level of math-challenged?