Physics, math, science and science fiction jokes

***crickets***

Well, maybe you'll like my chemistry jokes. I'll toss a couple out; they're sure to get a reaction. /rimshot

"A chemistry master approached the bar. "I'll have an H2O." His apprentice joined him. "I'll have an H2O, too". The apprentice died within minutes."

"Did you know you could cool your body to −459.67*F and be 0K?"

"A master chemist became world renown only after authoring an advice column. Seemed no matter what your problem, he had a solution."

"If H2O is water and H2O2 is hydrogen peroxide, what is H2O4?
Drinking."

"Did you hear about the exclusive club open only to oxygen and nitrogen? It was a hit; there was tons of chemistry and the sparks flew.
The club was never rebuilt."

=D

In honor of another thread on this forum

LADA? Isn't that some communist garbage?

Anyways, Porsche did it first. They've been re-releasing the same car over and over since before you were born =p

Dude I loved Face's biology and chemistry jokes, awesome!

Quote: Face

"A chemistry master approached the bar. "I'll have an H2O." His apprentice joined him. "I'll have an H2O, too". The apprentice died within minutes."

That was good!

Quote: FrGamble

Dude I loved Face's biology and chemistry jokes, awesome!

Quote: Wizard

That was good!

Thanks! TheCessPit once said to me, "As a comedian, you'll make a great race car driver". Been waiting a year to shake off that failure =D

Dunno if it's a science teacher thing or what, but they all had terrible jokes like this. I seriously have a whole bag of them. The exception was the body temp one, that I stole from Google. Took me a few solid minutes to "get it", so figured it was worth posting.

I'd post more, but I think all the good ones Argon =p

absolute zero and being OK took me awhile. very good.

Quote: Face

"Did you know you could cool your body to −459.67*F and be 0K?"

But you won't be Ok :)

Quote: Nareed

But you won't be Ok :)

No indeed. It would be quite hard.

Get it? Hard... like frozen?

Maybe I should quit while I'm ahead =p

Quote: Face

Maybe I should quit while I'm ahead =p

If your name is Louis XVI, you should quit before you're a head ;) (there, a bad pun so you won't feel alone in it).

Linguistics being a science and all:

Professor Septimus walks into a bar an orders a dry martinus.

"Don't you mean a martini?" asks the bar tender.

"My dear sir, be assured if I wanted a double I would have ordered one."

--

And going pentalingual:

An Iberian war captive believed to be the great warrior Persei is presented to the Basileos at Byzantium. He cannot believe it, so he asks "Are you really the famous Persei?" But the Iberian merely looks blank. An aide suggest to ask the question in Latin. So the Basileos asks "Et tu, sei Persei?"

The Iberian smiles and replies "Sei per sei treinta y sei."

(Pentalingual, there's Greek, Latin, English, math and.... but naming that last language would be giving it away).