Physics, math, science and science fiction jokes

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February 7th, 2015 at 1:53:25 PM permalink
Face
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***crickets***

Well, maybe you'll like my chemistry jokes. I'll toss a couple out; they're sure to get a reaction. /rimshot

"A chemistry master approached the bar. "I'll have an H2O." His apprentice joined him. "I'll have an H2O, too". The apprentice died within minutes."

"Did you know you could cool your body to −459.67*F and be 0K?"

"A master chemist became world renown only after authoring an advice column. Seemed no matter what your problem, he had a solution."

"If H2O is water and H2O2 is hydrogen peroxide, what is H2O4?
Drinking."

"Did you hear about the exclusive club open only to oxygen and nitrogen? It was a hit; there was tons of chemistry and the sparks flew.
The club was never rebuilt."

=D
Be bold and risk defeat, or be cautious and encourage it.
February 7th, 2015 at 5:28:55 PM permalink
Pacomartin
Member since: Oct 24, 2012
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In honor of another thread on this forum
February 7th, 2015 at 6:20:55 PM permalink
Face
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Posts: 3124
LADA? Isn't that some communist garbage?

Anyways, Porsche did it first. They've been re-releasing the same car over and over since before you were born =p

Be bold and risk defeat, or be cautious and encourage it.
February 7th, 2015 at 6:32:58 PM permalink
FrGamble
Member since: Oct 24, 2012
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Dude I loved Face's biology and chemistry jokes, awesome!
February 7th, 2015 at 6:59:12 PM permalink
Wizard
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Quote: Face
"A chemistry master approached the bar. "I'll have an H2O." His apprentice joined him. "I'll have an H2O, too". The apprentice died within minutes."


That was good!
Knowledge is Good -- Emil Faber
February 7th, 2015 at 7:25:52 PM permalink
Face
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Quote: FrGamble
Dude I loved Face's biology and chemistry jokes, awesome!


Quote: Wizard
That was good!


Thanks! TheCessPit once said to me, "As a comedian, you'll make a great race car driver". Been waiting a year to shake off that failure =D

Dunno if it's a science teacher thing or what, but they all had terrible jokes like this. I seriously have a whole bag of them. The exception was the body temp one, that I stole from Google. Took me a few solid minutes to "get it", so figured it was worth posting.

I'd post more, but I think all the good ones Argon =p
Be bold and risk defeat, or be cautious and encourage it.
February 8th, 2015 at 9:31:04 AM permalink
odiousgambit
Member since: Oct 28, 2012
Threads: 72
Posts: 1550
absolute zero and being OK took me awhile. very good.
Mustard:You like Kipling, Miss Scarlet? Sure, I'll eat anything [from movie]
February 8th, 2015 at 10:05:04 AM permalink
Nareed
Member since: Oct 24, 2012
Threads: 319
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Quote: Face
"Did you know you could cool your body to −459.67*F and be 0K?"


But you won't be Ok :)
If Trump where half as smart as he thinks he is, he'd be twice as smart as he really is.
February 8th, 2015 at 10:24:40 AM permalink
Face
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Member since: Oct 24, 2012
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Posts: 3124
Quote: Nareed
But you won't be Ok :)


No indeed. It would be quite hard.

Get it? Hard... like frozen?

Maybe I should quit while I'm ahead =p
Be bold and risk defeat, or be cautious and encourage it.
February 8th, 2015 at 10:33:31 AM permalink
Nareed
Member since: Oct 24, 2012
Threads: 319
Posts: 10869
Quote: Face
Maybe I should quit while I'm ahead =p


If your name is Louis XVI, you should quit before you're a head ;) (there, a bad pun so you won't feel alone in it).

Linguistics being a science and all:

Professor Septimus walks into a bar an orders a dry martinus.

"Don't you mean a martini?" asks the bar tender.

"My dear sir, be assured if I wanted a double I would have ordered one."

--

And going pentalingual:

An Iberian war captive believed to be the great warrior Persei is presented to the Basileos at Byzantium. He cannot believe it, so he asks "Are you really the famous Persei?" But the Iberian merely looks blank. An aide suggest to ask the question in Latin. So the Basileos asks "Et tu, sei Persei?"

The Iberian smiles and replies "Sei per sei treinta y sei."

(Pentalingual, there's Greek, Latin, English, math and.... but naming that last language would be giving it away).
If Trump where half as smart as he thinks he is, he'd be twice as smart as he really is.
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