"...and so (maybe) it begins."

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December 20th, 2016 at 6:08:48 AM permalink
Nareed
Member since: Oct 24, 2012
Threads: 301
Posts: 9998
Quote: Nareed
How about a first contact story where the one alien character has only three lines?


Actually four. She also says "Rylla." She has to.
If Trump where half as smart as he thinks he is, he'd be twice as smart as he really is.
December 20th, 2016 at 7:02:56 PM permalink
buzzardknot
Member since: Mar 16, 2015
Threads: 7
Posts: 493
How about a story where the aliens come to earth seeking a ruler of the universe, aka Donald Trump ?
December 21st, 2016 at 5:03:29 PM permalink
Nareed
Member since: Oct 24, 2012
Threads: 301
Posts: 9998
Opening scene:

A veteran policeman on the beat, call him Franklin, near the end of his shift, hears an alarm from a large art gallery. He turns the corner and finds the front doors open, and it's dark inside. He goes in, but instead of finding the intruder, he finds other inner doors open. He takes a minute to note these doors were hooked to alarms as well.

The trail of open doors into exhibit areas leads Franklin to a smallish room with many statues, where an elderly and very nervous security guard with a Taser is threatening a young woman in her mid-30s completely dressed in white, and sporting an expression of utter, complete calm. They stand near a small statue of a women with a cat's head (the Egyptian goddess Bastet), the eyes of which are emeralds.

The woman carries nothing other than what she's wearing, and two green stones very much like emeralds in one hand. Identical in size and shape to the eyes of the statue.

Why, naturally she was going to swipe the emeralds from the god statue with cheap beads, right? except she hadn't done anything to the statue yet, and the emeralds she was carrying were real, genuine precious stones.

And how did she go so far into the gallery without tripping any but one alarm, and without using any tools?

The expected reader reaction is "WTF??"
If Trump where half as smart as he thinks he is, he'd be twice as smart as he really is.
December 21st, 2016 at 6:11:26 PM permalink
rxwine
Member since: Oct 24, 2012
Threads: 111
Posts: 4439
Quote: buzzardknot
How about a story where the aliens come to earth seeking a ruler of the universe, aka Donald Trump ?


I think the time is ripe for a political satire based around the Orange Man. Creating it in a sci-fi setting makes for interesting possibilities.

I think a futuristic ending of "Nero fiddles while Rome burns" would be a nice touch. (even though that is likely an ancient version of fake news)

The Earth is threatened by a killer machine from space: a giant anus. The Anus is actually Orange man's anus which was shot into space and merged with an alien machine. (two trek references).

Orange Man takes advice from a Jar Jar Binks character who talks like Yoda and lives in a place that resembles Mar a Lago.

I'm sure everyone dies in the end. Or choose to. But in between much hilarity ensues.
No one has ever proven I am not God.
December 21st, 2016 at 6:29:19 PM permalink
Nareed
Member since: Oct 24, 2012
Threads: 301
Posts: 9998
Quote: rxwine
I think the time is ripe for a political satire based around the Orange Man.


There are many possibilities for aliens who like to eat people. See the Man-Kzin Wars, for example (hey, the Kzinti are orange themselves), or the old surprise ending turned cliché in the Classic TZ "To Serve Orange Man."

Or if you're in the mood for something dark, how about "Soylent Orange"? It ends with the whole world throwing up when they realize they've been eating cloned Orange Man meat (yuck!)
If Trump where half as smart as he thinks he is, he'd be twice as smart as he really is.
December 21st, 2016 at 6:54:30 PM permalink
rxwine
Member since: Oct 24, 2012
Threads: 111
Posts: 4439
Metaphorically speaking, the Orange Man makes a failed attempt to humanize himself by surgically removing his anus (asshole) and having it sent into space.

Speaking of Soylent Orange. Orange Man could turn out to be a lizard- like creature in disguise, and eventually consumes himself by eating his tail.

Okay, back to your regular program.
No one has ever proven I am not God.
December 21st, 2016 at 8:11:18 PM permalink
Nareed
Member since: Oct 24, 2012
Threads: 301
Posts: 9998
Quote: rxwine
Metaphorically speaking, the Orange Man makes a failed attempt to humanize himself by surgically removing his anus (asshole) and having it sent into space.


He can't humanize himself by removing himself.

Quote:
Speaking of Soylent Orange. Orange Man could turn out to be a lizard- like creature in disguise, and eventually consumes himself by eating his tail.


Grossly offensive to space lizards.

ON the other hand, the Orange Man declares himself the new, better and yuge savior, and decrees his flesh be cloned and eaten at political rallies, a new and yuger host. The very conservative, very Christian wingnuts in the GOP hail Him and pass a law making consumption of Soylent Orange mandatory. And to show true devotion, the flesh will be cloned solely from the Orange Man's scrotum.

Of course, to his supporters on this board, the idea must seem mild and uncontroversial.
If Trump where half as smart as he thinks he is, he'd be twice as smart as he really is.
December 22nd, 2016 at 12:57:48 AM permalink
rxwine
Member since: Oct 24, 2012
Threads: 111
Posts: 4439
Quote: Nareed
He can't humanize himself by removing himself.


Thus the paradox.



Quote:
Grossly offensive to space lizards.


Apologies to the lizards.
No one has ever proven I am not God.
December 22nd, 2016 at 6:27:48 AM permalink
Nareed
Member since: Oct 24, 2012
Threads: 301
Posts: 9998
Back to the regular programming, I need a title.

Options include:

"Gift"
"The Gift"
"Crystal Clear"


I'm inclined to the last one for now.

The challenge is to write it this weekend, come what may. The problem is we've been working non-stop with high stress for days. Yesterday I wasted half the day in Toluca looking at my samples being delivered <grumble grumble>
If Trump where half as smart as he thinks he is, he'd be twice as smart as he really is.
December 22nd, 2016 at 6:48:52 AM permalink
Nareed
Member since: Oct 24, 2012
Threads: 301
Posts: 9998
Oh, I also must see Rogue One this weekend, else it will be impossible to continue to avoid spoilers in FB. I'd have to give up social media for another week.

Wait!
If Trump where half as smart as he thinks he is, he'd be twice as smart as he really is.
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