Favorite Futurama quotations

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June 19th, 2017 at 11:47:38 AM permalink
Nareed
Member since: Oct 24, 2012
Threads: 345
Posts: 12535
Fry: Do you take Visa?
Clerk: Visa hasn't existed for 500 years.
Fry: American Express?
Clerk: 600 years.
Fry: Discover Card?
Clerk: Sorry, we don't take Discover.


Turanga Leela: Fry, this isn't healthy. You're living in the past.
Fry: I'm rich! I can live whenever I want!
Turanga Leela: But we live here, in the year 3000.
Bender: Yeah! Now, are you gonna come to the squid fights with us or sit here wallowing in your prehistoric junk?
Fry: Junk? Maybe you can't understand this, but I finally found what makes me happy, and it's not friends, it's things.
Bender: I'm a thing.
Donald Trump is a fucking liar
June 20th, 2017 at 7:06:40 AM permalink
Nareed
Member since: Oct 24, 2012
Threads: 345
Posts: 12535
While buying the new eyePhone online:

Philip J. Fry: I feel like a mindless zombie. I wish I knew how long we've been waiting.
Dr. Ben Beeler: The new eyePhone has an app for that.
Bender: Does it have an app for kising my shiny metal ass?
Dr. Ben Beeler: Several.
Bender: Ooh!
Donald Trump is a fucking liar
June 20th, 2017 at 2:13:55 PM permalink
rxwine
Member since: Oct 24, 2012
Threads: 132
Posts: 6582
Two robots sit down at a chess board.

2 seconds later. No pieces are moved.

Robot1: Mate in a 143 moves.
Robot2: Oh poo! I lost again.
Nobody learned anything from the global financial crisis.
July 1st, 2017 at 2:36:19 PM permalink
rxwine
Member since: Oct 24, 2012
Threads: 132
Posts: 6582
Fry's old girlfriend shows up in the future out of the cryogenics lab.

Michelle: I didn't know what had happened to you, no one did. The police were going to conduct a search, but your parents felt it was a waste of taxpayer money.
Fry: That's the same reason they kept me out of school. So, no one even cared that I was gone?
Michelle: Not really...except one person.
Fry: Who was it?
Nobody learned anything from the global financial crisis.
July 2nd, 2017 at 4:50:24 AM permalink
Fleastiff
Member since: Oct 27, 2012
Threads: 54
Posts: 6399
Seems beyond me. Perhaps it is good that I do not have netflix or any exotic cable channels.
July 2nd, 2017 at 5:25:16 AM permalink
Nareed
Member since: Oct 24, 2012
Threads: 345
Posts: 12535
Prof. Farnsworth: Good news, everyone!
Bender: Uh-oh, I don't like the sound of that.
Prof. Farnsworth: You'll be making a delivery to the planet Trisol.
Bender: Here it comes.
Prof. Farnsworth: A mysterious world in the darkest depths of the Forbidden Zone.
Bender: Thank you and goodnight.
Leela: Uh, Professor, are we even allowed in the Forbidden Zone?
Prof. Farnsworth: Why, of course! It's just a name! Like the Death Zone or the Zone of No Return. All the zones have names like that in the Galaxy of Terror!


Fry: It's just like the story of the grasshopper and the octopus. All year long, the grasshopper kept burying acorns for winter, while the octopus mooched off his girlfriend and watched TV. But then the winter came, and the grasshopper died, and the octopus ate all his acorns. Also he got a race car. Is any of this getting through to you?


Bender: In the name of all that is good and logical, we give thanks for the chemical energy we are about to absorb. To quote the prophet Jerematic, one-zero-zero-zero-one-zero-one-zero-one-zero-one-zero-one... [later] ... zero-one-zero-one-one-zero-zero-one... two. Amen.


Fry: Hey, professor. What are you teaching this semester?
Prof. Farnsworth: Same thing I teach every semester: The Mathematics of Quantum Neutrino Fields. I made up the title so that no student would dare take it.
Fry:[writing] Mathematics of wonton burrito meals. I'll be there!
Prof. Farnsworth: Please, Fry. I don't know how to teach. I'm a professor.
Donald Trump is a fucking liar
July 18th, 2017 at 7:49:19 PM permalink
rxwine
Member since: Oct 24, 2012
Threads: 132
Posts: 6582
Two Alien monsters watching a TV transmission from Earth.

Monster 1: This is ancient Earths most foolish program. Why does Ross, the largest friend, not simply eat the other five?
Monster 2: Perhaps they are saving it for sweeps.
Nobody learned anything from the global financial crisis.
July 18th, 2017 at 11:22:12 PM permalink
Pacomartin
Member since: Oct 24, 2012
Threads: 850
Posts: 10146

August 11th, 2017 at 8:31:06 PM permalink
rxwine
Member since: Oct 24, 2012
Threads: 132
Posts: 6582
Dr. Zoidberg is a legendarily bad doctor. For instance:

Quote:
Dr. Zoidberg: I'm afraid Fry lost a lot of juice. He's developed Simpson's jaundice.

Philip J. Fry: Ay, carumba.

Dr. Zoidberg: His only hope is some replacement liver. Yours looks like a good match.

Turanga Leela: Well, if it'll help Fry...

Philip J. Fry: Careful Leela. He knows less about human anatomy than I do, and I can't even find my own uterus.

Dr. Zoidberg: [turns on power saw] You may feel a slight sawing.


But then I noticed in episode in Season 6, he say his doctorate is in art history.
Nobody learned anything from the global financial crisis.
August 13th, 2017 at 6:43:57 PM permalink
rxwine
Member since: Oct 24, 2012
Threads: 132
Posts: 6582
Nareed, this one's for you.

Nobody learned anything from the global financial crisis.
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