Trump jokes

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March 18th, 2022 at 10:45:10 AM permalink
missedhervee
Member since: Apr 23, 2021
Threads: 96
Posts: 3092
Quote: ams288
Stormy Daniels. He has a small, hairy, mushroom-shaped penis.


"She describes Trump’s penis as “smaller than average” but “not freakishly small”.

“He knows he has an unusual penis,” Daniels writes. “It has a huge mushroom head. Like a toadstool …

“I lay there, annoyed that I was getting f$&^(ed by a guy with Yeti pubes and a d$&k like the mushroom character in Mario Kart ...

“It may have been the least impressive sex I’d ever had, but clearly, he didn’t share that opinion.”

-- source: https://www.theguardian.com/us-news/2018/sep/18/stormy-daniels-tell-all-book-on-trump-salacious-detail-and-claims-of-cheating

_____________________________________________

Fail to the chief.
July 2nd, 2022 at 8:14:27 AM permalink
quadriga
Member since: Mar 30, 2019
Threads: 0
Posts: 114
Trump threw dishes at the wall multiple times while in the White House, including once during an election-losing fit, according to the January 6 testimony. But why did he feel the need to smash dinnerware?

He wanted to get tough on China while ignoring Russia.
July 2nd, 2022 at 10:00:37 AM permalink
missedhervee
Member since: Apr 23, 2021
Threads: 96
Posts: 3092
Did the fat oaf bring his gold covered toilet seat from NYC to DC while he was in the white house?
July 2nd, 2022 at 12:31:27 PM permalink
quadriga
Member since: Mar 30, 2019
Threads: 0
Posts: 114
"She describes Trump’s penis as “smaller than average” but “not freakishly small”.

Trump's penis is like the attempt to overturn the election itself. It couldn't hold an election-erection twice in succession. It regularly took a beating at the hands of the courts. It almost ruined another forming up. Its closest supporters were nuts and they are shrinking. And it's a dysfunction to hold another election-erection.
July 2nd, 2022 at 10:19:58 PM permalink
Mooseton
Member since: Oct 24, 2012
Threads: 0
Posts: 149
Every time I read this thread I think “That’s the gayest thing I’ve ever read.” Congrats to all.
July 3rd, 2022 at 8:52:52 AM permalink
ams288
Member since: Apr 21, 2016
Threads: 29
Posts: 12422
Quote: Mooseton
Every time I read this thread I think “That’s the gayest thing I’ve ever read.” Congrats to all.


You’re welcome. 😏
“A straight man will not go for kids.” - AZDuffman
July 3rd, 2022 at 11:01:00 AM permalink
missedhervee
Member since: Apr 23, 2021
Threads: 96
Posts: 3092
Trump noticed that one of his house staff, Sean, was very popular with the ladies.

He asked Sean what his secret was to getting invited into so many different women's beds.

"Well Mr. Trump, I take out my johnson and rap it three times on the bedpost."

"Aha" mused the president: and a plan was hatched: he'd gone without for a long while.

That night with the lights off he crept into Melania's bedroom, pulled down his boxers and rapped his stubby unit 3 times on the bedpost.

Melania purred: "Sean, is that you?"
July 4th, 2022 at 12:22:10 PM permalink
ams288
Member since: Apr 21, 2016
Threads: 29
Posts: 12422
Quote: missedhervee
Trump noticed that one of his house staff, Sean, was very popular with the ladies.

He asked Sean what his secret was to getting invited into so many different women's beds.

"Well Mr. Trump, I take out my johnson and rap it three times on the bedpost."

"Aha" mused the president: and a plan was hatched: he'd gone without for a long while.

That night with the lights off he crept into Melania's bedroom, pulled down his boxers and rapped his stubby unit 3 times on the bedpost.

Melania purred: "Sean, is that you?"


Ok, that one was funny.
“A straight man will not go for kids.” - AZDuffman
July 4th, 2022 at 12:38:52 PM permalink
missedhervee
Member since: Apr 23, 2021
Threads: 96
Posts: 3092
A trucker in Texas prided himself on ALWAYS running down Mexicans / Hispanics he'd see walking on the side of the road.

One day he stopped to pick up a hitch hiker: it was Trump!

While Trump regaled him with tales of election skullduggery and conspiracy he noticed a figure ahead on the side of the road, ambling along.

As he got closer he saw it was a Hispanic male, but what could he do?

He had Trump in the passenger seat, how could he possibly run the guy over?

"The hell with it, I'll just close my eyes and hope for the best" he thought, then closed his eyes and ... "thump."

Opening his eyes he asked "Did I get him?"

"No, you would have missed him, but I got him with the door" bragged Trump.
August 5th, 2022 at 2:52:03 PM permalink
quadriga
Member since: Mar 30, 2019
Threads: 0
Posts: 114
When he was told he couldn't go to the Capitol to rally his supporters on Jan. 6, Trump grabbed the steering wheel in place of pussy, since none of his police detail was from Texas.
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