Trump jokes

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March 9th, 2017 at 7:29:52 AM permalink
Nareed
Member since: Oct 24, 2012
Threads: 318
Posts: 10840
Quote: ams288
The Manch-URINE Candidate


That explains a lot.
If Trump where half as smart as he thinks he is, he'd be twice as smart as he really is.
March 17th, 2017 at 7:48:51 PM permalink
Nareed
Member since: Oct 24, 2012
Threads: 318
Posts: 10840
One day in English class, the teacher asks her students to use the word "tragedy" in a sentence.

Sam says "If I were to lose my cell phone, that would be a tragedy."

"No, Sam," the teacher replies. "That would be loss."

Kelly volunteers, "If I were to fall and break my leg, that would be a tragedy."

"No, Kelly," the teacher replies. "That would be misfortune."

Tony then says "If Trump were to die, that would be a tragedy."

"Very good, Tony. That would be a tragedy. Now, can you explain to the class how you figured it out?"

"What else?" says Tony "It wouldn't be loss or misfortune."
If Trump where half as smart as he thinks he is, he'd be twice as smart as he really is.
March 23rd, 2017 at 7:44:34 PM permalink
Nareed
Member since: Oct 24, 2012
Threads: 318
Posts: 10840
Q: What number is greater than infinity?
A: The number of lies told by Donald Trump.
If Trump where half as smart as he thinks he is, he'd be twice as smart as he really is.
May 16th, 2017 at 9:01:22 PM permalink
Nareed
Member since: Oct 24, 2012
Threads: 318
Posts: 10840
Q: How do you define gross incompetence?
A: 144 Donald Trumps.
If Trump where half as smart as he thinks he is, he'd be twice as smart as he really is.
May 17th, 2017 at 11:01:26 AM permalink
Nareed
Member since: Oct 24, 2012
Threads: 318
Posts: 10840
Is there Twitter in prison?
If Trump where half as smart as he thinks he is, he'd be twice as smart as he really is.
May 17th, 2017 at 2:57:04 PM permalink
Nareed
Member since: Oct 24, 2012
Threads: 318
Posts: 10840
Paul Ryan: You made Trump look like an idiot!

Media: He didn't need our help.
If Trump where half as smart as he thinks he is, he'd be twice as smart as he really is.
May 18th, 2017 at 6:31:00 AM permalink
Nareed
Member since: Oct 24, 2012
Threads: 318
Posts: 10840
Trump facing trial by the Senate: "I can explain. I didn't think we'd win the election!"
If Trump where half as smart as he thinks he is, he'd be twice as smart as he really is.
May 22nd, 2017 at 9:13:42 AM permalink
Nareed
Member since: Oct 24, 2012
Threads: 318
Posts: 10840
Not jokes per se, but quotations stolen from Asimov's "The Gods Themselves," that apply to Golden Boy Trump:


Hes a pygmy with only one talent: the ability to convince others hes a giant.


His idiot face gets redder and his eyes bulge and his ears block. Id say his mind stops functioning, but I lack the proof of any other state from which it might stop.
If Trump where half as smart as he thinks he is, he'd be twice as smart as he really is.
May 26th, 2017 at 1:10:00 PM permalink
Nareed
Member since: Oct 24, 2012
Threads: 318
Posts: 10840
Based on recent performance:

If Trump's brains were dynamite, he couldn't blow his nose.
If Trump where half as smart as he thinks he is, he'd be twice as smart as he really is.
June 1st, 2017 at 8:12:51 AM permalink
Nareed
Member since: Oct 24, 2012
Threads: 318
Posts: 10840
"Look, no one knew that covfefe was so complicated."
If Trump where half as smart as he thinks he is, he'd be twice as smart as he really is.
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