Trump jokes

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May 17th, 2017 at 2:57:04 PM permalink
Nareed
Member since: Oct 24, 2012
Threads: 328
Posts: 11356
Paul Ryan: You made Trump look like an idiot!

Media: He didn't need our help.
If Trump where half as smart as he thinks he is, he'd be twice as smart as he really is.
May 18th, 2017 at 6:31:00 AM permalink
Nareed
Member since: Oct 24, 2012
Threads: 328
Posts: 11356
Trump facing trial by the Senate: "I can explain. I didn't think we'd win the election!"
If Trump where half as smart as he thinks he is, he'd be twice as smart as he really is.
May 22nd, 2017 at 9:13:42 AM permalink
Nareed
Member since: Oct 24, 2012
Threads: 328
Posts: 11356
Not jokes per se, but quotations stolen from Asimov's "The Gods Themselves," that apply to Golden Boy Trump:


Hes a pygmy with only one talent: the ability to convince others hes a giant.


His idiot face gets redder and his eyes bulge and his ears block. Id say his mind stops functioning, but I lack the proof of any other state from which it might stop.
If Trump where half as smart as he thinks he is, he'd be twice as smart as he really is.
May 26th, 2017 at 1:10:00 PM permalink
Nareed
Member since: Oct 24, 2012
Threads: 328
Posts: 11356
Based on recent performance:

If Trump's brains were dynamite, he couldn't blow his nose.
If Trump where half as smart as he thinks he is, he'd be twice as smart as he really is.
June 1st, 2017 at 8:12:51 AM permalink
Nareed
Member since: Oct 24, 2012
Threads: 328
Posts: 11356
"Look, no one knew that covfefe was so complicated."
If Trump where half as smart as he thinks he is, he'd be twice as smart as he really is.
July 5th, 2017 at 8:15:15 AM permalink
Nareed
Member since: Oct 24, 2012
Threads: 328
Posts: 11356
One fine day in Washington, Sean Spicer stops by the Lincoln Memorial on his way to work.

Lincoln's statue suddenly moves his head slightly and says "Sean, bring me a horse."

"What the hell!" Sean says in astonishment.

"Bring me a horse," Lincoln repeats.

Sean runs full speed to the White House and manages to convince his boss a miracle has happened, and he needs to rush with him to the Lincoln Memorial. When they get there, Sean tells Lincoln, "Mr. president, have you met Mr. Trump?"

The statue just sits there saying nothing.

"Can you repeat to him what you told me a few minutes ago, please?"

The statue just sits there saying nothing.

Trump gets angry. "You're fired, Sean!" he says and stalks out.

"Why don't you say anything?" Sean demands of Lincoln once they're alone.

"I asked you for a horse, Sean, and you brought me an ass."
If Trump where half as smart as he thinks he is, he'd be twice as smart as he really is.
August 24th, 2017 at 2:17:52 PM permalink
Nareed
Member since: Oct 24, 2012
Threads: 328
Posts: 11356
Here's a prophecy that will come true: Trump will die on a Mexican holiday.

Proof: the day Trump dies will be declared a holiday in Mexico.
If Trump where half as smart as he thinks he is, he'd be twice as smart as he really is.
August 25th, 2017 at 3:06:00 PM permalink
Nareed
Member since: Oct 24, 2012
Threads: 328
Posts: 11356
The Pentagon is working on new nuclear codes, which need to be over 140 characters long so Trump can't Tweet them.
If Trump where half as smart as he thinks he is, he'd be twice as smart as he really is.
September 30th, 2017 at 5:11:15 AM permalink
Nareed
Member since: Oct 24, 2012
Threads: 328
Posts: 11356
Trump Syndrome: A condition where a patient's brain is not on speaking terms with their mouth.
If Trump where half as smart as he thinks he is, he'd be twice as smart as he really is.
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