Casual thread

Quote: Fleastiff

Women were often unable to sell property without the consent of the husband even if it was her property since the female was considered incapable of entering into any contract except a contract involving necessaries for the support of herself and her children. In many states before a female could sign a contract someone had to take her aside and explain it to her.

I would really want to see the law on this, something specific. Even today, a spouse must often sign off when a sale of their own property happens due to marital laws. It is called a "spousal state." IIRC it has to do with community property laws. If a husband wants to take a mortgage, the wife must sign. Or vice versa.

If a woman was signing to sell, the notary would have to "examine her separate and apart from her husband" to be sure she was selling off of her own free will. She was actually protected to make her own decision. The quotes are because that is how they are notarized, and I do see that all the time. So I still believe this is more feminist legend than real.

LA could be different being not based on Common Law.

Quote: Fleastiff

Women were often unable to sell property without the consent of the husband even if it was her property since the female was considered incapable of entering into any contract except a contract involving necessaries for the support of herself and her children. In many states before a female could sign a contract someone had to take her aside and explain it to her.

The rules for real property were even more onerous, particularly in community property states or Louisiana.

A wife who disobeyed her husband or was a common scold could be charged with treason. A man who plotted against the state could be charged with High Treason.

I had to be out of town on the day my wife and I bought one of our first vehicles after we were married. We had already checked it out together and indicated we would be back to close the deal. I sent my wife to make the purchase and put the car in her name. The dealer knew us both but refused to sell the car to my wife.

Quote: kenarman

I had to be out of town on the day my wife and I bought one of our first vehicles after we were married. We had already checked it out together and indicated we would be back to close the deal. I sent my wife to make the purchase and put the car in her name. The dealer knew us both but refused to sell the car to my wife.

That is an idiot of a dealer. Question, though. Did you finance and was that the issue? If your wife did not work or/and had weak credit, then that is a rational thing to do since the bank could well have said, "NO."

I have heard bad stories about the treatment of women at car dealerships to the point I tell them to take a guy along, even if to stand there. One told me the salesman would not let her drive on the test drive.

OTOH, my mother and her sister just bought near-matching Honda SUVs. I was ballistic about making sure it had new stickers but otherwise a good deal.

car dealers will screw anyone, even their own salesmen.

One man, an artist who knew nothing of automechanics, was sold a sixty dollar battery when all he needed was some gas put in the tank.

One woman had her Subaru die in a remote area and the auto mechanic pretty much was going to charge her for every thing he could think of and wrote out a formal estimate that was astronomical, then the woman's female friend spoke up and it was obvious that she knew what she was talking about. Result: Water pump and some hoses.

An actor in Los Angeles used to work as a car salesman and said that dealers would often force a salesman to give up some of his commission rather than lower the price to the customer.

One automechanic on one of those expose programs actually put a screwdriver tip on the air filter lid and bent down to put his ear against the screwdriver's handle and proceeded to diagnose what the problem was. The undercover auto mechanic posing as a customer could barely keep from laughing.

Quote: AZDuffman

That is an idiot of a dealer. Question, though. Did you finance and was that the issue? If your wife did not work or/and had weak credit, then that is a rational thing to do since the bank could well have said, "NO."

I have heard bad stories about the treatment of women at car dealerships to the point I tell them to take a guy along, even if to stand there. One told me the salesman would not let her drive on the test drive.

OTOH, my mother and her sister just bought near-matching Honda SUVs. I was ballistic about making sure it had new stickers but otherwise a good deal.

The loan was already set up with our bank as a joint loan.

Quote: kenarman

The loan was already set up with our bank as a joint loan.

Then if you had not signed and were not there the deal cannot close.

Quote: AZDuffman

Then if you had not signed and were not there the deal cannot close.

All the paperwork was signed at the bank. I wanted the car in my wifes name and they wouldn't do it, had to be registered in my name because she had no credit record in her own name.

Quote: Wizard

Can someone please explain why women, when lacking anything of substance to fight about will get mad over what I allegedly think? Never mind that she is rarely correct in her assumptions about said thoughts. Where did she get this mind-reading device and which man-hater created it to always see the worst in the male brain?

Hehe... Does the first question indicate that the only other state is when there is something of substance to fight about?

I think the long term solution is to work on communication. Jumping to conclusions, or making worst case assumptions may be explained by a lack of valid input. Without input, your wife can only fill in the blanks, and it is natural to remember unpleasant experiences from the past, instead of the numerous times things were just fine.

When things cool off, I suggest you sit down with her and go through both of your thoughts on the issue at hand. Be open to her input, and describe your process for weighing the merits of the various options. One of your jobs as a husband and father is to protect your wife and family. This includes their emotional health. Treat your wife as a fragile vase. While we can't always make things better, we can at least do what we can to not make things worse.

Be strong my friend.

A good resource on improving communication: 5 Love Languages

I think I have posted this before Wiz but my moto that has kept me with my wife for 50 years. "There is no point in arguing with a women, no good has ever come from it."

Quote: Ayecarumba

When things cool off, I suggest you sit down with her and go through both of your thoughts on the issue at hand. Be open to her input, and describe your process for weighing the merits of the various options.

Wow, does this ever look and sound good
on paper. Too bad in reality it doesn't work
worth a crap. You're making the assumption
that women are coming from a rational point
of view most of the time. They're not.

Quote:

Treat your wife as a fragile vase. While we can't always make things better, we can at least do what we can to not make things worse.

This in kinda true, but not for reasons
you think. You treat her this way
because she's a poisonous snake who
can strike out at you anytime she likes.
Because you like living without emotional
stress, you let most of what she says go
in one ear and out the other unchallenged.

It's just like Charleton Heston said, you learn
how to apologize a hundred different ways,
to keep her happy and keep her off your back.
You won't ever figure her out, why waste your
life even trying.