How do you want to die...?

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3 members have voted

June 25th, 2020 at 6:58:11 AM permalink
SOOPOO
Member since: Feb 19, 2014
Threads: 14
Posts: 2076
My best friend from college just passed on due to esophageal cancer. On his 3 year anniversary of getting the dismal diagnosis. He lived around 2.7 years close to normal, just with some diet changes, and some bad days due to chemo. His bad days were mostly just extreme tiredness. But he knew he had a bad diagnosis with the outcome most likely sealed. Around 4 months ago he had severe back pain, a metastasis to his spine, emergency surgery, he was now permanently weak in one leg and barely able to walk with a walker. But his mind was still 100%. Follow up MRI showed 4 more metastases, all small and not of consequence clinically other than the fact that they will grow and there will be more, and they are in his CNS and his brain will come under attack. A week before he passed he woke up screaming, and knew his time had come. He was on hospice already and they started him on a morphine drip until he passed one week later in his sleep. He had the ability to have all of his kids with him, he actually helped plan his own funeral, was able to tidy up his finances for his widow and children, he got to say goodbye to all that were important to him.

My whole career I've seen the other way. Someone fully alive, a car accident, stroke, surprise heart attack, and they are gone.

For the longest time I've pondered if the second way was better, but after seeing my friends demise, I want to go that way.

I think that having the ability to 'go to your own funeral' is something I'd like to do. If I knew the end was near, but not imminent, plan a party..... invite all those that you think would come to your funeral. So that you can have your life celebrated instead of your death. And when the real funeral comes, the mourners can remember the pre-funeral.
June 25th, 2020 at 7:18:06 AM permalink
kenarman
Member since: Oct 24, 2012
Threads: 11
Posts: 2024
Quote: SOOPOO

I think that having the ability to 'go to your own funeral' is something I'd like to do. If I knew the end was near, but not imminent, plan a party..... invite all those that you think would come to your funeral. So that you can have your life celebrated instead of your death. And when the real funeral comes, the mourners can remember the pre-funeral.


I have had 2 friends that have basically done that and the 2 friends were in totally different groups and didn't know each other. They each had a big celebration of life on a birthday. Neither was diagnosed terminal but both were approaching 90 and having enough issues that they knew the end was coming in the next couple of years. They were gatherings of 100 or more people with an open mike and lots of stories. They were fun affairs. Neither had a funeral when they died other than small family goodbyes.
"but if you make yourselves sheep, the wolves will eat you." Benjamin Franklin
June 25th, 2020 at 7:41:25 AM permalink
Mission146
Member since: Oct 24, 2012
Threads: 15
Posts: 784
Suicide, gunshot. Pretty much the same thing, except much earlier, depending on the diagnosis.
"We do what we must because we can. For the good of all of us, except the ones who are dead."
June 25th, 2020 at 9:18:10 AM permalink
AZDuffman
Member since: Oct 24, 2012
Threads: 125
Posts: 12563
Fast and painless. Shot, bus run over, in my sleep, piano fall on me. Fast and painless.

I will not do chemo.
The man who damns money has obtained it dishonorably; the man who respects it has earned it
June 25th, 2020 at 9:24:54 AM permalink
Gandler
Member since: Aug 15, 2019
Threads: 13
Posts: 1384
I am sorry about your friend.
June 25th, 2020 at 10:01:49 AM permalink
SOOPOO
Member since: Feb 19, 2014
Threads: 14
Posts: 2076
Quote: Gandler
I am sorry about your friend.


Thanks. He had a great life. Married for around 30 years.... and I never heard him say a bad word about his wife. 3 good, successful kids. Career success. Traveled the world. 61.
June 25th, 2020 at 10:09:01 AM permalink
ams288
Member since: Apr 21, 2016
Threads: 17
Posts: 5829
I want to live forever.
Crush them in November, investigate them forever.
June 25th, 2020 at 10:14:56 AM permalink
Mission146
Member since: Oct 24, 2012
Threads: 15
Posts: 784
Quote: ams288
I want to live forever.


"Eternity, my friend, is a long f***ing time."-Bad Religion "You"
"We do what we must because we can. For the good of all of us, except the ones who are dead."
June 25th, 2020 at 10:47:19 AM permalink
Evenbob
Member since: Oct 24, 2012
Threads: 136
Posts: 21322
Quote: Mission146
"Eternity, my friend, is a long f***ing time.


You're living in the eternal moment
right now. How long is it?
If you take a risk, you may lose. If you never take a risk, you will always lose.
June 25th, 2020 at 11:28:49 AM permalink
Mission146
Member since: Oct 24, 2012
Threads: 15
Posts: 784
Quote: Evenbob
You're living in the eternal moment
right now. How long is it?


Donít know, donít care. The vast majority of it is completely immaterial to me, quite literally.
"We do what we must because we can. For the good of all of us, except the ones who are dead."
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