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BUD (the King of Beers)
| May 24th, 2023 at 9:53:01 AM permalink | |
| Mission146 Administrator Member since: Oct 24, 2012 Threads: 23 Posts: 4147 |
Good. I have no desire for their help anyway. I only accept help in the event that I know I can give back whatever I am given, with interest. I do not want favors that I don't know I will have some way to repay; I do not want it lorded over me that someone helped me with something when it comes time for them to compel me to do something I do not want to do; I do not want friends who I am honor-bound to side with on things. If people in the office perceive me as a jerk, all the better. It means they won't talk to me unless it's necessary, for one thing. Things are changing. In-person social interaction grows increasingly unnecessary unless you have some reason to prefer that. I'd rather shop in-person than order groceries online. Interacting with anyone in the physical job environment carries risk; the less of it I have to do, the better. "War is the remedy that our enemies have chosen..let us give them all they want." William T. Sherman |
| May 24th, 2023 at 2:07:17 PM permalink | |
| Gandler Member since: Aug 15, 2019 Threads: 27 Posts: 4256 |
Yes, but you liked it at the time. And, if you never found out you would probably be boasting to your friends about this great random sex hookup you had. The point is it is your perception of the idea that disgusts you, not the act itself. For example, and I rarely bring up my sex life because it just causes drama, I have had sex with people who I later find to be despicable (not because of their body, but because of their beliefs and philosophy). I don't hate myself or feel disgusted from those nights in the past, at the time it was just an action. You can't hold something against yourself that you do not find out until later. If you had a good time at the time, that is all that matters, you can't control what you discover later. All you can do is politely tell those people you are no longer interested in being involved. |
| May 24th, 2023 at 2:21:29 PM permalink | |
| AZDuffman Member since: Oct 24, 2012 Threads: 135 Posts: 18203 |
No, the act of going with another guy disgusts me as much as the idea. Going with a woman who voted for Hillary is one thing. Going with another guy is another. The President is a fink. |
| May 24th, 2023 at 2:23:09 PM permalink | |
| Gandler Member since: Aug 15, 2019 Threads: 27 Posts: 4256 |
Work friends happen, but behavior at work needs to be checked. For example if two people at work get too close and start having a conversation in an open office that is clearly inappropriate (politics, religion, dating, adult topics, etc....) I need to step in and end it. It is not because I don't respect their opinion (or even often agree with them), it is just not the proper place. Most personal conversation verge into inappropriate territory (or run the risk of quickly turning into such). My view is if you are at work, you are at work. If you need to have a personal conversation, it should be taken outside, not in an open office. Also, in the public sector all recordings can be public record (so if your office has video and audio recordings, and there is an open records request for the video for Day X and it gets released and people are gossiping openly about whatever without reprimand, it is just is a very bad image). So there are a number of reasons that it just needs to stay business related. Sure, at lunch or whatever, talk about whatever. But, especially nowadays with the strict restriction on what is acceptable to discuss (and the added factor of modern recording), such personal discussions just need to be avoided in the actual workplace. Networking is good, but like above should not be in the actual office. |
| May 24th, 2023 at 2:27:55 PM permalink | |
| Gandler Member since: Aug 15, 2019 Threads: 27 Posts: 4256 |
Yes, but the point is you enjoy the act at the time, and if you never found out you would never be disgusted. |
| May 24th, 2023 at 2:29:31 PM permalink | |
| AZDuffman Member since: Oct 24, 2012 Threads: 135 Posts: 18203 |
The point is I would do all I can to avoid it. The President is a fink. |
| May 24th, 2023 at 2:36:57 PM permalink | |
| Gandler Member since: Aug 15, 2019 Threads: 27 Posts: 4256 |
And, what would you solution be to trans-women (because let's be real, it is far easier for a women who transition from a man to live their life, even their sex life, without ever brining up their past than the other way)? Should women who transitioned from being a man have to identify on all dating app? At all first dates? Before marriage? What if their view is they are a woman, and bringing up their past is a violation of living their best life? I would imagine asking a woman if she transitioned on a first date is a great way to quickly end the date regardless of if she did or not.... |
| May 24th, 2023 at 3:01:01 PM permalink | |
| AZDuffman Member since: Oct 24, 2012 Threads: 135 Posts: 18203 |
Yes, dating apps should require it. Yes, marriage licenses should require it. Their view is meaningless. They are a male on hormones and had surgery. Their potential mate has a right to know this. Requiring it on dating apps would save lots of problems. The President is a fink. |
| May 24th, 2023 at 3:12:55 PM permalink | |
| AZDuffman Member since: Oct 24, 2012 Threads: 135 Posts: 18203 |
Reality is not like the Orwellian system you propose here. Most personal conversation is just casual conversation. You are being trained by someone and find out they were in the Air Force. You ask how they liked it. They ask what you did before. It is how you get a comfort level with people. You might talk about the ballgame. Or the weather. Or whatever. Work comes first and gets done of course. But the office is not prison. I have worked in offices where most conversation was banned and guess what? They lost people left and right. People hated the place. That being said there are people you avoid conversation with. Some people just go off on everything. Some are "weird." These people never get into the network at the office. They do not progress in their careers formally or informally. You want that kind of life have at it. I will have conversation as appropriate. The President is a fink. |
| May 24th, 2023 at 3:53:06 PM permalink | |
| Gandler Member since: Aug 15, 2019 Threads: 27 Posts: 4256 |
I completely disagree, I feel that I progress further and faster by isolating (in an organization that I have zero connections or nepotism with). I feel like people think they will promote faster if they go out drinking with everyone, this is rarely the case. If you have the numbers and no connections, it's much easier to be put in a position where they know you don't care about upsetting people. And, I work in a place where nepotism and local connections are looked at as everything (supposedly). I am from out of State, don't know the local families, don't care, and I am doing better than all of the inside group who have been there for decades. This may be because I am the only one they trust to not care about putting whoever's son in check, I don't know. But, it is a viable strategy in many realms. Now, will some people jump the chain of command to complain to their buddy about me? Frequently. Do I care? Never. People think connections are everything, but they don't realize not having connections or personal care about people can be just as powerful of an asset. And, I can say with full confidence you can pick a random city for me in the U.S. and I can do this all over again, and then again. In three more years I plan to do just that, then in another 5 years, probably the same thing..... and then rinse and repeat until retirement age..... |