My newest article: divorce and pregnancy

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July 16th, 2013 at 5:33:31 PM permalink
aceofspades
Member since: Oct 24, 2012
Threads: 83
Posts: 2019
My new Huffington Post Divorce article

I'm pregnant, it's not yours...but you're the father
July 17th, 2013 at 3:46:42 AM permalink
AZDuffman
Member since: Oct 24, 2012
Threads: 135
Posts: 18136
Quote: aceofspades
My new Huffington Post Divorce article

I'm pregnant, it's not yours...but you're the father


A good article and it touches on how anti-male the Family Court system is in the USA. Though saying so can make people go ballistic, as happened to me with a woman I worked with.

When I managed in NY I had an employee had his weekly paycheck knocked down to about $40, because of child support for a 20 year old kid he hadn't seen in over 15 years. The guy had a drinking problem in his younger days and moved past it, but they remained estranged. "Child Support" for a 20 year old? I have seen any number of other guys get the short end one way or the other. Women are able to say, "I can do it on my own--I don't need a man! Just send me 18% of your gross for the first kid and an additional 7% for each additional one, please."

The one part of this to know and remember is if the woman does not have primary custody of the kids you know something is very wrong. Do NOT get involved with one in this situation, don't walk but rather run in the other direction.
The President is a fink.
July 17th, 2013 at 2:16:24 PM permalink
Fleastiff
Member since: Oct 27, 2012
Threads: 62
Posts: 7831
Various presumptions about a child born during marriage may apply and various acts of the father may later haunt him financially. Its best to cut the ties that bind rather than get more and more enmeshed in them.

Mormon faith leading to a hesitancy to divorce can be costly, just as can any other reason that someone adopts for not doing what has to be done even when it is unpleasant and inconvenient. You do what you have to do and you do it promptly or else you pay and pay and pay.
July 17th, 2013 at 2:39:17 PM permalink
Evenbob
Member since: Oct 24, 2012
Threads: 146
Posts: 25010
Quote: AZDuffman


When I managed in NY I had an employee had his weekly paycheck knocked down to about $40, because of child support for a 20 year old kid he hadn't seen in over 15 years.


I can top that. I knew a guy who married a girl when he
was 21 that had an out of wedlock son. He stupidly
adopted the son and was divorced a year later. It was
in Indiana, so he had to pay child support on a kid that
wasn't his, that he hadn't seen in 20 years, till the kid
was 22 and out of college. The woman was a shark about
it too, she would never let go of this money till every
last dime she could get was got. And it was HER that
cheated on him and ended the marriage. And people
wonder why I generally have a low opinion of women.
If you take a risk, you may lose. If you never take a risk, you will always lose.
July 17th, 2013 at 10:45:03 PM permalink
Fleastiff
Member since: Oct 27, 2012
Threads: 62
Posts: 7831
Quote: Evenbob
He stupidly adopted the son and was divorced a year later, so he had to pay child support on a kid that wasn't his, that he hadn't seen in 20 years, till the kid was 22 and out of college. The woman was a shark about it too, she would never let go of this money till every last dime she could get was got.
Of course she was a shark about it. Now lawyers use the internet and track deadbead dads just prior to expiration of obligations and get zillions in back support payments. Pay a lawyer the first time!
July 18th, 2013 at 1:41:42 AM permalink
1nickelmiracle
Member since: Mar 5, 2013
Threads: 24
Posts: 623
Interesting subject I first learned about over a decade ago at least and it still hasn't changed. It's political because the people who support this and child support look at it as a way to "empower" women. Nothing encourages irresponsibility like making someone else pay for it. Our system is screwed up from head to toe and everyone just rationalizes it not realizing they're rationalizing us into a third world country fast. They focus on the small details, but just don't see the big picture. If you treat every person and company with the same laws, this would get better. There is more money to be made in chaos and complexity, so looks like nothing will change.
July 18th, 2013 at 2:38:42 PM permalink
Evenbob
Member since: Oct 24, 2012
Threads: 146
Posts: 25010
Quote: Fleastiff
Of course she was a shark about it.


The worst part was it was all planned. The woman
was 25 and a knockout. She picked a 21 year old
kid who's dad owned a construction company. She
screwed the kids socks off (sexually) till he couldn't
see straight and he married her and she immediately
talked him into the adoption and divorced him a
year later. She planned all of it, she knew that in IN
a father is obligated to pay till the kid is out of
college. And of course the 21 year old ended up a
big muckety muck in his dads company. so he had
to pay, no way out of it. Charming story.
If you take a risk, you may lose. If you never take a risk, you will always lose.
July 18th, 2013 at 2:43:36 PM permalink
aceofspades
Member since: Oct 24, 2012
Threads: 83
Posts: 2019
Quote: Evenbob
The worst part was it was all planned. The woman
was 25 and a knockout. She picked a 21 year old
kid who's dad owned a construction company. She
screwed the kids socks off (sexually) till he couldn't
see straight and he married her and she immediately
talked him into the adoption and divorced him a
year later. She planned all of it, she knew that in IN
a father is obligated to pay till the kid is out of
college. And of course the 21 year old ended up a
big muckety muck in his dads company. so he had
to pay, no way out of it. Charming story.



The American dream...remixed!
July 18th, 2013 at 2:46:53 PM permalink
Evenbob
Member since: Oct 24, 2012
Threads: 146
Posts: 25010
Quote: aceofspades
The American dream...remixed!


But how many women are like this, you must
see some unbelievable crap all the time.
If you take a risk, you may lose. If you never take a risk, you will always lose.
July 18th, 2013 at 2:51:22 PM permalink
aceofspades
Member since: Oct 24, 2012
Threads: 83
Posts: 2019
Quote: Evenbob
But how many women are like this, you must
see some unbelievable crap all the time.




Indeed - and the law supports this in NY, that is why this case was an aberration. A guy could be told he is the father when things are going swimmingly with his best girl. He believes her, doesn't question it by seeking a DNA test. A year later, they get into an argument, she yells out - "He/She's not yours!" - they breakup, she seeks child support - he says it's not mine - the Court says, too late for a DNA test as you have been acting as the father - so, even if you really aren't the father, the State has an interest in "someone/anyone" supporting this child other than the State so, thanks for playing, you owe $xxx per month in child support until the child, that may or may not actually be yours, is 21 (oh yeah, and your share of health care costs and child care costs)!
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