A priest, a rabbi and a minister walk into a bar ...

Page 1 of 61234>Last »
September 7th, 2013 at 11:53:59 AM permalink
Pacomartin
Member since: Oct 24, 2012
Threads: 1068
Posts: 12569
A priest, a rabbi and a minister walk into a bar one particular afternoon, and one of them makes the comment that preaching to people isn’t really all that hard- but a real challenge would be to preach to a bear. One thing led to another and they decided to do an experiment, they would all go out into the woods find a bear and attempt to convert it. Well 7 days later they all meet back at the bar to discuss the experience.

The priest, Father Flannery, who has his arm in a sling, is on crutches and has various bandages, goes first, “Well,” he says, I went into the woods to find a bear, and when I found him I began to read to him from the catechism and the bear wanted nothing to do with me and began to slap me around, so I quickly grabbed my holy water, sprinkled him and he became as gentle as a lamb. And now the bishop is coming out next week to give him first communion and confirmation.

The protestant minister spoke next- he was worse off than the priest- he was in a wheel chair, with an arm and both legs in casts and an IV drip. In his best fire and brimstone preaching voice, he related, “I went out and found that sinner bear and I began to read to my bear from the Bible, but that bear wanted nothing to do with me. So I grabbed him and we began to wrestle. We wrestled down one hill, up another and down another until we came to a creek, and I quickly dunked the bear under the water and baptized him in the name of Jesus- and he became as gentle as a lamb and now he’s out saving other sinner bears.

So then they both looked down at the Rabbi, who was lying in a hospital bed. He was in a full body cast and traction with IV’s and monitors running in and out of him. He was in VERY bad shape. “Rabbi what happened?” they asked very concerned. After a few minutes of silent reflection, the Rabbi said, “looking back on it, circumcision may not have been the best way to start.”
September 7th, 2013 at 5:17:06 PM permalink
s2dbaker
Member since: Oct 24, 2012
Threads: 13
Posts: 241
A priest, a rabbi and a minister walk into a bar. The bartender looks up from the bar and says, "What? Is this some kind of joke?"

I saw that somewhere recently, thought it was funny. I'd like to credit the source but I don't remember who it was.
September 7th, 2013 at 5:22:47 PM permalink
Nareed
Member since: Oct 24, 2012
Threads: 346
Posts: 12545
My favorite is: A man walks into a bar. He says "Ouch!"
Donald Trump is a one-term LOSER
August 5th, 2014 at 5:15:31 AM permalink
odiousgambit
Member since: Oct 28, 2012
Threads: 154
Posts: 5055
how come the Rabbi always gets the best lines?
I'm Still Standing, Yeah, Yeah, Yeah [it's an old guy chant for me]
August 5th, 2014 at 7:22:49 AM permalink
Wizard
Administrator
Member since: Oct 23, 2012
Threads: 239
Posts: 6095
Schrödinger's cat walks into a bar. And doesn't.
Knowledge is Good -- Emil Faber
August 5th, 2014 at 12:30:50 PM permalink
Evenbob
Member since: Oct 24, 2012
Threads: 146
Posts: 25010
Einstein walked into a bar today and got
there last week.
If you take a risk, you may lose. If you never take a risk, you will always lose.
August 5th, 2014 at 1:19:15 PM permalink
Nareed
Member since: Oct 24, 2012
Threads: 346
Posts: 12545
Quote: Wizard
Schrödinger's cat walks into a bar. And doesn't.


All cats do that. We think of them as animals, but they're really quantized fluids.
Donald Trump is a one-term LOSER
August 5th, 2014 at 3:36:26 PM permalink
Greasyjohn
Member since: Jun 20, 2014
Threads: 6
Posts: 68
In the old west a three-legged dog walks into a saloon and hops onto a bar stool. The bartender says, "What can I do for you?" The dog says, "I'm looking for the man who shot my paw."
August 6th, 2014 at 4:31:17 AM permalink
Wizard
Administrator
Member since: Oct 23, 2012
Threads: 239
Posts: 6095
Quote: Greasyjohn
In the old west a three-legged dog walks into a saloon and hops onto a bar stool. The bartender says, "What can I do for you?" The dog says, "I'm looking for the man who shot my paw."


*groan*
Knowledge is Good -- Emil Faber
August 7th, 2014 at 12:28:38 PM permalink
Greasyjohn
Member since: Jun 20, 2014
Threads: 6
Posts: 68
Okay, then let's try this one: Two cannibals are talking and the first one says to the other, "We've been friends for a long time, but I've got to tell you, I, uh, I don't care for your wife." So the other cannibal says, "Well, just eat the vegitables."
Page 1 of 61234>Last »