February

Oh, yes. This one goes firmly in the "I Hate..." subsection.

In my 33 years, I haven't found anything to combat the drastic and dramatic swoop into the doldrums that February brings. Without fail, no matter what, this time of year makes me feel like giving up and dying. Maybe "dying" isn't the right word as it's a verb and would require me to actively do it, and that's too much effort to ask of me. But even now, when there is nothing wrong under the sun, I feel like my spirit has withered to the point that it seems possible if not probable that it will never renew again.

As introspective and hyperanalytic as I am, I still don't get it. I haven't seen the sun since Nov, but Nov, Dec, and Jan were all fine. And come March, I usually still won't have seen it, but I'll somehow be "better", even though nothing has changed but the number on the calendar.

Eating is a chore that lacks pleasure. Bathing is a hassle I'd rather not endure. Sleeping is a fitful experience full of shattered, disturbing dreams. In the Land of February, all beer is flat and all sex is more hassle than it's worth. I know the definition of happiness, excitement, contentment, and I remember having them not so long ago, but I can't for the life of me recall what it feels like to experience them. I know in 20some days I'll be basking in the Caribbean with rum in one hand and a fishing rod in the other, but that might as well be another lifetime for all the good it does me now. Now, there is only Grey. Stasis. Decay.

Hearing someone say "Whelp, it'll be over soon! It's the shortest month!" doesn't even make me angry. I can't even be bothered to have a reaction. Or someone else will armchain physician a diagnosis of SAD; you know, "Seasonal Affective Disorder". And I know I should roll my eyes and waft them the hell out with their nonsense, but even that requires more effort than I have to spare.

Even hockey loses its lustre. It's more of something I do by requirement, rather than passion. Although I must say, having not played in two weeks with two more weeks to go before my next game is making February all the more... what's a word that conveys something that is simultaneously intense to the point of eruption, yet completely devoid of an energy whatsoever? Bah, whatever. I can't be bothered to find or think of one.

Even writing this post. I know I have to hit that little "post" button for you to see it, but damn, that seems like an awful lot to ask.

Meh, what the hell. I'll do it for you, but don't expect anything else from me for the rest of the month.

"/Click"

Have you considered consulting a physician? Depression is a complex issue, and may be caused on and off by different things.

Just a wild guess.

Quote:

Full sunlight or exposure to bright light from a light box is used to treat seasonal affective disorder (SAD). Light boxes for SAD are designed to filter out most UV light, which can cause eye and skin damage.[18] Mayo Clinic states that light therapy is of proven effectiveness for treating seasonal affective disorder and light therapy is seen as its main form of treatment.[19] Controlled-trial comparisons with antidepressants show equal effectiveness, with less expense and more rapid onset of therapeutic benefit, though a minority of patients may not respond to it.[20] Direct sunlight, reflected into the windows of a home or office by a computer-controlled mirror device called a heliostat, has also been used as a type of light therapy for the treatment of SAD.[21][22]

The effectiveness of light therapy for treating SAD may be linked to the fact that light therapy makes up for lost sunlight exposure and resets the body's internal clock.[23]

It is possible that response to light therapy for SAD could be season dependent.[24]

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Light_therapy

Now you can roll your eyes.

Anything traumatic happen this time of year? That was my next thought.

Quote: rxwine

Now you can roll your eyes.

Still too much work. I'll just lackadaisically ponder cursing your name, and decide that's also not worth the effort ;)

Quote: rxwine

Anything traumatic happen this time of year? That was my next thought.

Not a thing. I've been blessed with a lifetime of little to no emotional trauma, and February's so blah that I don't often incur physical damage either. I'm usually just trying to get back into bed. I thought to mention it in the OP so as to not waste your time guessing about it but... you know... couldn't be bothered to do so XD

I know SAD is technically a "thing", it's just hard for me to accept it as a real concern. I mean, someone is tired and gloomy? In February?! The horror, get thee to a physician! It's kind of laughable. But I guess we can have a good test, since this post got two people responding (which is two more than I had thought, as it was more a humorous post than anything). Since I am indeed heading south, I have to go tan so I don't smoke out the first day there and spend the last 9 days hiding from the sun. I'll keep an eye on myself until I hit the beds and see how I feel before and after.

Quote: Nareed

Have you considered consulting a physician? Depression is a complex issue, and may be caused on and off by different things.

Nah. I've experienced real depression, and this ain't nowhere close. I suppose it's similar, but not nearly as all encompassing or terrifying. At least for me, this is a very common winter occurrence. It's like the constant down slope of mood in the winter takes its final big dive in February, hits the bottom with force, and (soon) will rebound back up into the clouds. In a matter of weeks, I'll be back posting like mad in my Fishing and Racing threads, full of all the beautiful things in life that make me want to post.

It's just right now, I'd fancy going to sleep for three weeks, as it is about the only thing I can imagine having the energy to do. Happens every year; I guess this time I just felt like writing about it =)

Thanks to you both for your concern =)

Try "trip to Florida". Worked for me. Of course I came back to about 10 inches of snow, but I happily put on my parka and shovelled away. I think you're a coast guy. Get in your car and drive down, and bring your guns!

Sure this UV stuff can help to re-entrain escaped circadian rhythms but its more likely a need to experience a "dawn" in order to properly reset the biological clock. We did not evolve to go from dark to full floursescent lighting in an instant.
Instead of a full light board you might only need an ordinary lamp with a fifteen minute timer on it that goes from off to on gradually so as to give your brain an artificial "dawn".

Of course a trip to the Caribbean is a good idea too. Last week you could have chartered a sailboat and skirted the pirate infested waters off Venezuela. One man had his yacht drift off its mooring and it sailed unmanned almost 700 miles to the Venezuela coast. In the interim anyone who had boarded it could have claimed salvage rights and wound up owning a forty foot yacht. Nice way to comeback from vacation in the plus column.

Quote: boymimbo

Try "trip to Florida". Worked for me. Of course I came back to about 10 inches of snow, but I happily put on my parka and shovelled away. I think you're a coast guy. Get in your car and drive down, and bring your guns!

Coast, yes, but you're thinking of the wrong side. I can see Lake Erie from my hometown. Our respective front doors are probably not even an hour apart, as the seagull flies.

As I said, I'll be in the Caribbean in no time. I'm sure it'll fix me up, it just sucks now. I don't suppose I'll ever return to Florida, as I don't really dig it (no offense, Flea and Babs)

Quote: Fleastiff

Sure this UV stuff can help to re-entrain escaped circadian rhythms but its more likely a need to experience a "dawn" in order to properly reset the biological clock. We did not evolve to go from dark to full floursescent lighting in an instant.
Instead of a full light board you might only need an ordinary lamp with a fifteen minute timer on it that goes from off to on gradually so as to give your brain an artificial "dawn".

But I have dawn. I'm up before the sun 5 days a week. I guess I just don't like what I see when it finally rises.

Quote: FleaStiff

Of course a trip to the Caribbean is a good idea too. Last week you could have chartered a sailboat and skirted the pirate infested waters off Venezuela. One man had his yacht drift off its mooring and it sailed unmanned almost 700 miles to the Venezuela coast. In the interim anyone who had boarded it could have claimed salvage rights and wound up owning a forty foot yacht. Nice way to comeback from vacation in the plus column.

Both here and in my Wyoming thread, you've given repeated warning of pirates. I'm beginning to take them not as a warning, but as encouragement. Seems like being a pirate is totally +EV =)

You picked a good month to hate, insofar as it is the one which is over the fastest.