The British Virgin Islands

Quote: Evenbob

Babes, hotel pool babes, beach babes,
and babes eating dinner.

No hotel, we stayed on the boat for 10 days
On the beach, I was too busy drinking.
Most dinners were on the boat. The ones on shore... I was too busy drinking ;)

Eating a fine meal at a restaurant while looking out at your boat can be great until you return and find some electronic items are gone. Locals can drift in a low freeboard skiff to the far side of your yacht and rob you blind while you swear you never took your eyes off the yacht.

Quote: Fleastiff

Eating a fine meal at a restaurant while looking out at your boat can be great until you return and find some electronic items are gone. Locals can drift in a low freeboard skiff to the far side of your yacht and rob you blind while you swear you never took your eyes off the yacht.

Ah yes, forgot to mention the locals up to this point.

All those mooring balls are basically 20 ton blocks sunk into the bay. I never really found out the total details, but apparently the owners of the establishments at each bay have some sort of stewardship over them. At every port we stopped, our arrival caused a local to hop in a dinghy and buzz out to us. It was $30 a day to moor, and we received a ticket proving our fee. They also offered to take our garbage ($3 a bag, which was able to be sort of haggled) and sell us bags of ice for our food and beer. Bags of ice that came in at TEN! DOLLARS! a BAG! This was also sort of haggle-able, but not by much. Ice is quite a racket down there.

Some were very local, and sort of gruff and seemed to be put out. But most seemed to be happier than we were to be there, bumping tunes on their ghetto blasters and dancing as they went from ship to ship. Most would ask how we were doing, if we were catching anything, and reminded us that "if you be catching dem barracuda, you be tossing it back! No want to eat dem, mon, dey be poisonous!"

At the level of drunkeness and relaxation, I can totally see the potential for grand scale robbery. But I can't remember thinking about it even once while there.

Quote: Face

At the level of drunkeness and relaxation, I can totally see the potential for grand scale robbery. But I can't remember thinking about it even once while there.

There is little or no violence, and the citizens are very charming. But they are totally avaricious. It's kind of like being robbed by Oliver Twist.

Quote: Pacomartin

There is little or no violence, and the citizens are very charming. But they are totally avaricious. It's kind of like being robbed by Oliver Twist.

Thanks for the vocab level up ;)

YES. A thousand times yes. I noticed men beyond count wearing tattered cargo shorts, a simple $5 t-shirt, and enough gold to make Mr. T. feel inadequate.

“Ho! Ho! Ho! To the bottle I go
To heal my heart and drown my woe
Rain may fall, and wind may blow
And many miles be still to go" - J.R.R. Tolkien

Day 3.

I, again, was the last to wake up. 8:30a is early as hell for me, but most were already pouring their second cup of coffee. Whatever. I was on vacation =p

I no sooner crawled up above deck when sausage and egg biscuits were being shoved at me, so I sat in the sun and allowed their greasy goodness to soothe the whiskey fog I was under. Upon finishing them, I found it hard to move and unsure of what to do. But my fishing pole was in reach and it was ready to go, so might as well =)

I switched out the lures for smaller hooked and slices of squid. Although the water was over 30 feet deep, I could still see the bottom in detail. It was mostly sand with a few crops of stone and grass. Throwing to them revealed a few schools of something down there, and I had their attention. Some of the smaller fish picked and prodded at my squid, but I saw larger ones meandering around. Before long, I finally hooked one and brought the first fish to the boat, a small Bar Jack. It went into the cooler. I had plans for it later ;)



I carried on fishing by myself until it was time to leave, landing two or three more Bar Jacks of bigger size, all of which I threw back. Upon leaving, we decided to try diving The Indians again, hoping we'd get a chance at it before passing it up for good. We arrived to it being just as busy as before with all the balls taken. But one of the boats hollered over that they'd be leaving in 20 minutes, so The Fed went into a holding pattern and told us to just go. I hopped in the dinghy with Ash and Mrs. Fed, and away we went.

Second dive, and I was just a nervous as the first time. I dunno what it is about water. Sure, I've almost drowned before, but the last time was when I was six. It's not a fear of drowning. I dunno what it is, I just don't like it. But again, I forced myself in and within the minute I was lost all over again.

(Remember to go HD)


I saw guys diving and chasing schools of fish with their camera, and it looked easy enough. I thought I could get more out of the experience if I learned to do the same, so I began trying it out. Ash is amazing and got us our own personal diving gear instead of renting, so we had quality equipment. And it paid off. Go underwater, and the snorkel automatically closed. Come up, and it automatically opened. They performed flawlessly the entire time. And if you so happened to get water in them, they had one-way purge valves. Just blow out real hard, hands free, and the water was expelled. Within the minute, I was comfortable diving.

We swam around a bit, I again losing all sense of awareness and surfacing to find I had no idea where I was, where everyone else was, or how to get back. But whatever, I was having fun. I saw a nice sized conch shell and thought I wanted to have it. With my 2 minutes of dive training under my belt, I went and got it. It was empty, so into my pocket it went. I saw a few other interesting things, but man, the pressure was insane. I couldn't get my ears to pop and couldn't go much further than 8' under before it felt like they were gonna burst. I dunno if it's a salt water density thing, but I've been almost 20' into fresh water and never had a problem.

Eventually The Fed caught up with us and we continued on. He took us to the lee side of the island, where the water was super calm. Funny I didn't think of it as I struggled and neared smashing the rocks the entire time up until that point. I really did lose all sorts of intelligence while there =p It was a good thing he came, too, because I fiddled with my goggles and lost my snorkel, not noticing it until it bumped my foot while it sank. There was no way I could go deep enough to get it, but The Fed is a rescue diver and has dropped to 100+' no problem. He fetched it for me and saved the rest of my vacation =)



After diving was finished, it was time to head northeast toward Virgin Gorda. The Fed finally let loose the sails, as we had been motoring up until then. It was an interesting experience. He went over the different sails, how the rigging helped you tighten or loosen, what ropes did what, and it all seemed pretty slick. You could basically do everything and remain behind the wheel. He had me close all the portholes, which I didn;t immediately understand. But once that jib sail came out, it all made sense. Man, those things keel over! At one point I went below deck for some beer and the window was underwater! You couldn't even walk on the thing, I mean we were hauling ass. It was so much fun, but Mrs. Fed's sister was not a fan of it. We ran quick for a bit, but eventually had to loosen the jib to bring it back towards center so she wasn't so nervous.



By this time it was just a bit after lunch... but I have absolutely no memory of the rest of the day. Nothing. I can't explain it. I've gone over and over the vacation with Ash, we've consulted the pics, the video, the whole chronological recording of everything, and we just can't remember how we finished that day. I'm sure the many beers didn't help, but it's odd. I know we made it about as far as Cooper Island where we moored for the day and night, but as for details... they are lost to the bottle XD

EDIT: I remember now (Thanks, FleaStiff)...

I DON'T know where we were, but we stopped for the night in a bay not far from The Dogs. The Fed was messing with the inverter, for some reason trying to connect it directly to the engine. Well, he crossed wires and shorted it out, frying all the fuses inside it. And they were welded in. So just a few days into everything, and we were very much in a bind, as his side ran almost all of the communication and navigation equipment.

The Fed and Paul were busy trying to figure it out, asking me if I could resolder some fuses into place if they found some equipment. I said sure, because why the hell not? =) They were messing with it forever, stressing everyone out on the boat. Me, I figured it would either be fixed or it wouldn't. If it was, who cares, if it wasn't, who cares. I didn't see the point of worry. So to avoid the drama, I decided to go for a dive.

Well, no one was in the mood to go, so I set off by myself. We were well inside a protected bay; pretty much my only worry was getting slammed by a drunken dinghy pilot. So I weaved boat by boat, staying close to mooring balls and swimming next to ships, keeping away from the open water. Obviously, I'm here now and didn't get smashed =)

The dive was mostly boring. The floor was sand and grass with no structure, and I saw almost nothing the whole way to shore. I saw but one giant starfish, a cool sight to be sure, but that was it for the whole 200 yards in.

But then I turned to go up shore, and I ran into the rock.

That's all it was. Just one, solitary, giant rock. And it was packed with life. There were urchins all over it. Giant angelfish cruising in and out of it. I swear there was a scorpion fish inside it, I could see its wide, leafy spines and fins (but I wasn't reaching in to stir it into view =p). Wrasses of all sizes and color, big ass crabs with long spider legs... that one rock was loaded. I swam up and down and all around that thing, every time I turned there was something else to see.

On the way back, I came across a large stingray in the sand. I was able to dive right down to it, and it paid me no mind. I watched it for a bit before swimming off, and shortly thereafter the crew came and found me by dinghy. They were headed inland to shop and find a repairman; I decided to finish my swim and relax on the boat by myself with a book.

(This video contains a lot of boring nothingness, so 4:30 for the starfish, 11:45 for the life rock, and 17:30 for the stingray)



It just so happened that they saw "Electrician" on the side of one of the dinghies, and sure enough, our moor neighbor was an electrician of the high seas. They took the inverter over to his boat and the guy had it switched out and functioning within 30 minutes. Disaster averted =)

And that mostly ended the night. We cracked into some beer and broke out the whiskey for a bit, but the night ended much like all nights previous. Full of food, full of booze =)

"What do you do with a drunken sayl-arh
Put him in the longboat until he's sob-arh
Put him in bed with the captain's daught-arh
Ehr-lie in the marhnin'"

Day 4.

I assume I woke up because I'm here typing this. But the morning as well as half of the whole day before is still missing from memory. I suppose the 3 day alcohol binge had caught up to me. But this day was The Baths, and I do remember all of this =)

The Baths are a large rock pile set right on the beach. Many of these boulders are house sized, and they're piled this way and that allowing passage over, around, and underneath them. Some stairs have been built on them making things a bit easier, but it's definitely a place one can lose some blood.

We arrived and dove in, swimming to the beach as opposed to using the dinghy. I had saved some fat from a previous steak dinner and stuffed my pockets with the scraps, hoping to draw in some fishies for video taping. It didn't go quite how I had planned, but I also didn't get attacked by sharks. I guess we'll call that experiment a "push" =p



The beach was a little weird. It was a very steep landing and I had difficulty getting out of the water, eventually settling on riding a wave into land and then rolling the rest of the way out. It worked, but I paid. I got a little cut up from the rough sand, and although I rinsed off, I missed all the sand in my waistband. By the time I noticed some hours later, my waist was raw and bleeding. Ah well.

We meandered into and out of the rocks, and it was one of my favorite places of the trip. Wondering how they got there, seeing how the ocean had molded them, it was pretty cool. One part was perpetually dry, the ground covered with all sorts of lizard tracks in the sand, and then you round a corner to find an area the ocean repeatedly bashed and jetted into, throwing up great gusts of salt water as the fluid forced the air out of the void. I haven't got all the pics from our travel partners, and I used my GoPro for stills here (not good quality), so I'll let Google bail me out on this one...



It must be low tide in the pic above, as you would've gotten smashed there when we were there. The ocean rushed in from that hole on the right and made that whole calm pool a swirling torrent. It was fun, but I got tripped up exiting and peeled a bunch of skin off my toes. Ah well.

We carried on through the rocks until we reached the end. In all, it took about 30-45 minutes. There were definitely a lot of "low bridges" that tested my back and thighs, but anyone of reasonable health should have no problem at all. I saw several folks in there pushing 70, and they made it all the way through. Even this half a cripple is still here to write about it ;)

Come time to swim back and I had a hell of a time again. The steep beach and the waves just weren't working for me. I didn't want to put my fins on on the beach because my feet were already shredded and bleeding and I didn't want sand in there making it worse. I tried putting them on in the water, and that was a disaster. Instead of the waves just lifting me up, they drove me back and down, pounding me into the rough sand and bare coral on the beach. I must have taken seven of these poundings before my hands were completely stripped of skin and my ribs were pounded tender. I eventually just bailed into the ocean, flippers in hand, just needing to get the hell away from land. Once in deep water, I was able to get geared up and on my way with literally no trouble whatsoever. Son of a...

By this time, I was exhausted, bleeding from everywhere, pounded to a pulp, and had no idea where anyone was. I just decided to swim in the general direction I thought the boat to be. There was still plenty to see underwater, the jumbled coral giving way to one long, steep drop off that held a number of big fish. With such sights, I settled down in short order and forgot about my whole ordeal. I was just sort of gazing around at the fish below me when I looked up to see where I was going, and there, coming out of the mist, was a giant barracuda. I was so stoked! It came right at me, every gulping breath revealing those giant, prison shank teeth, it's enormous eyes regarding me with curiosity. I just coasted toward it as it came toward me, arms outstretched and fingers wiggling, trying to coax it in close. It got almost to within contact range before turning side face, giant eye still locked on to me. I swam toward it and it just turned, swimming just enough to not allow me to touch it. I kicked it into high gear and chased it for a good 15 seconds, following it wherever it went. It was right there. It was the coolest thing I had seen all trip. I eventually glanced around to see where I was as I turned all over chasing this thing, and when I looked back, it was gone. But man, was I excited! I couldn't wait to get home and see the video.

I got to the boat with a hell of a story, pushed the button on my camera to stop the recording, and heard not the three beeps notifying me it stopped, but the single beep of it just starting up. In the calamity that was me getting off the beach, I totally forgot about the camera and never turned it on. My entire 'cuda encounter - gone. Son of a... ><

After The Baths, which were on the southern tip of Virgin Gorda, we spun up and around the top of VG, passed Mosquito Island and moored in Malone Bay. On the way, The Fed decided it was time to use the fish I had caught. I cut off a strip from head to tail, about 2" thick. We rigged that to a bare hook and a dipsy diver to try to get it deep. Once rigged up, we tossed it in and left it for the whole sail.

Upon arriving, I noticed the rig skipping on top of the water. Since we had arrived, I reeled it in to find we had caught a decent sized mackerel. It had already been pounded good from being dragged, and had several teeth marks on it as something struck it in transport. But it was still lively, so I released it without stressing it more by handling and waiting for a pic. That set off the first argument as The Fed claimed point, even though it was I that cut the bait, rigged it, set it, and brought the fish in. He said it was his because it was his idea, I said it was mine because I did literally everything, and I don't think that debate was ever resolved. I guess we had more important things to do. Things, like this...



Yes indeed. As soon as we moored, we hit the land for some drinksies. The foursome left to go shopping for supplies and souvenirs, leaving The Fed and I behind with beer money. That was a mistake. Would you trust these two with your wallet?



By the time the group got back, I was hammered. Neither The Fed or I are ones to get very drunk often, but every time I bought "one last one" to make up for the one he bought me, he'd buy "one last one" to pay me back. I dunno. I dunno what happened that night. All I knew is they left, and then they came back. And somewhere in the middle, I got annihilated. And, I had a cat. Dunno how, dunno where it came from. But I had a cat, and he was awesome.



Mrs. Fed loves a good time, so she set about "catching up" upon her return, and dragged the rest of the group with her. Soon, we were all feeling very good and nothing at all. Just in time for the pirate invasion.

Suddenly, people appeared out of nowhere in full pirate regalia. The bar went from 3 couples to jam packed, and now there was a Captain up on stage with a guitar. I dunno what was going on, but that haggard old man played every old pirate song I had ever heard, and some I never heard. He got the crown into it, everyone was getting drunk, dancing, carrying on. Even The Fed was singing along. That was a fun night indeed.



I dunno what time we arrived, only that it was about lunch time. The Fed and I stayed at that one bar and didn't leave until well after dark. By the time we hauled our carcasses to the dinghy, there were 10' swells on land. Or an earthquake. Or something, because walking straight was an impossibility.



We returned to the Wandering Eye for dinner, a haphazard affair of meat on the grill. While The Fed smoked that up, Ash kept busy feeding him concoction after concoction, as once you cross that certain threshold, there's nothing left to do but get life threateningly drunk XD By the time he switched back to rum and coke, he had already drank 4 whole Red Bull vodkas and was pinging of the non-existent walls.

After plenty of singing, dancing with his wife, and a slight trip down a dark memory lane, The Fed finally retired to his bunk for the night. Ash and I stayed up and decided that being hammered on day 4 of a 10 day vacation was the perfect time to discuss relationship problems =p I guess I consider myself lucky on that, though, as she'll actually talk and not flip out and get all emotional. But after an hour or so of that, I hear footsteps coming from down below and The Fed pops back up above deck. He heads right to the back of the boat, still with spring in his step. I figure he's just pissing, but he's got his headphones on, I can hear Jimmy Buffet blaring from where I sat, and he's undoing the dinghy. I kept yelling at him "Vanzey, where you going? What are you doing", but he just kept bopping and jiving and untying the dinghy. I finally got his attention with a flashlight when he beams a giant smile and yells "I'll be right back, mon!" and zooooooommm!! he was gone. Dude was heading back to the bar! Christ all Friday.

Fortunately, it was closed as it had to be pushing 3a by this point. He came right back mildly sulking and hit the sack again. And with that, we followed right behind him.

Quote:

Dude was heading back to the bar!

That settles it, I "can't hang" with the two of you [although that issue was never in doubt]

It's nice to see vacay's still have lens cap
stories. We were in the north woods and
saw Bigfoot in all his glory and took a
dozen pics of him and when we got back
to the cabin we discovered we never took
the lens cap off the camera.

Sure there was a cuda. Sure there was..

Quote: Evenbob

Sure there was a cuda. Sure there was..

You always know just what to say to get me riled =p

It wasn't but 10a at that point. Hadn't had a drink. There was too a damn 'cuda, and it was right in my face. I was, and still am, seriously put out that I didn't have the camera rolling. It was the single coolest thing that's ever happened in the water, and rivaled most of even my bear encounters.

Quote: odiousgambit

That settles it, I "can't hang" with the two of you [although that issue was never in doubt]

LOL! You'd be fine. There's no pressure to "keep up", as it were.

Ash never believed my hockey tourney stories, either. If you ever make it up this way and let me take you fishing, you'll see I'm a total lightweight. 2 beers and I'm already giggly. 4 or 5 and I'm downright silly. And that's almost always my limit.

But on certain occasions, all my college training comes rushing back. As long as I'm active and engaged, I can go hard for an unbelievably long time. And go hard we did. Every. Single. Day. I even surprised myself XD