Confessional

Quote: Wizard

Until then, I feel I tore the fabric that bonds all people together, and there is no way to mend it.

You feel far worse for yourself than you do for
her. Believe me, she's forgotten about it already.
She's not suicidal, she's not crying herself to
sleep every night. Young people get insulted all
the time, or hear things the wrong way.

From my experience, girls and women don't look
at this the same as men do. If you had said something
about her looks, it would have been bad. She would
remember that. But you jokingly said something
about her knowledge. She probably agrees with you
and hasn't given it a second thought.

This is more about you than her. You would be insulted
if somebody said something similar to you when you
were a kid. When I was in 7th grade, some kid on the
bus said I had a brain like a sieve. I was humiliated and
hurt, and I didn't even know what a sieve was. I thought
I was pretty smart and thought he was calling me stupid.

I found out later it was more of a joke than an insult. But
it took me a long time to get over how I felt when I thought
he was calling me stupid.

Quote: Fleastiff

Several communities ban trick or treating by those over 12 figuring that the wearing of masks and the annoying behavior just isn't worth it.

Heh heh. I am out to eat and the some grocery shopping to avoid the entire stupid thing.

Quote: FarFromVegas

Regulations for local cities here.

I see one city has it as a Class 3. I've never seen it enforced here in the suburbs but I expect there's more of an official presence in urban areas and probably in response to complaints.

But still... how is it enforced?

Somebody sees a "kid" they think is over 13 and calls the cops (Be on the lookout for an especially tall goblin...)?
The police cruise around looking for tall kids?
They wait until after their 8pm "curfew" and just sweep up all the kids that are out?

I guess it just bugs me because I was tall as a kid and started getting harassed when I was about 10 ("Aren't you a little old to be trick or treating?" at nearly every house). To this day I think Halloween is a stupid holiday/tradition because of my negative experience. I can only imagine how traumatic it would have been if the police were involved. We always went without parents and as a 10 year old I didn't carry any id, so a trip home in the police car would have ensued.

Quote: MonkeyMonkey

Quote: FarFromVegas

Regulations for local cities here.

I see one city has it as a Class 3. I've never seen it enforced here in the suburbs but I expect there's more of an official presence in urban areas and probably in response to complaints.

But still... how is it enforced?

Somebody sees a "kid" they think is over 13 and calls the cops (Be on the lookout for an especially tall goblin...)?
The police cruise around looking for tall kids?
They wait until after their 8pm "curfew" and just sweep up all the kids that are out?

I guess it just bugs me because I was tall as a kid and started getting harassed when I was about 10 ("Aren't you a little old to be trick or treating?" at nearly every house). To this day I think Halloween is a stupid holiday/tradition because of my negative experience. I can only imagine how traumatic it would have been if the police were involved. We always went without parents and as a 10 year old I didn't carry any id, so a trip home in the police car would have ensued.

Honestly, it's probably on the books to keep troublemakers off the streets. If the kids are causing trouble the cops can use the regulations to ticket them for something. My niece and two of her friends went out this year at age 14 and no one said a word, and one girl easily looked 17 (she's tall and well-developed.) My son (13; will be 14 on Tuesday) walked with them but didn't collect candy--he didn't even go when he was 12 because he's not particularly into the whole thing and my daughter gives him all the candy she doesn't like, which is just about everything but lollipops. He's 5'10" and no one challenged his right to be out on the street because he wasn't causing trouble. My oldest went out with us last year when he was 18 and people offered him candy. I guess your neighbors were just cranky!

Dusk to 8:00 ?!?!?

Are you kidding me?

When I was a kid, I used to love when it landed on a weekend. I started at noon, and didn't stop until well after 9:00. I used to love it when it was on a Sunday. I could tell the cranky people that they shouldn't be cranky, because they got an extra hour sleep!



Last year, we go the most kids after 8:00. In fact, we got a lot after 9:00. I think the last group was after 10:00.

Quote: AZDuffman

Heh heh. I am out to eat and the some grocery shopping to avoid the entire stupid thing.

I bet if you lived in Boston you would be home.... girls in their twenties still go trick or treating there!

Quote: Fleastiff

Its no good having a confessional thread... you will either get trivial little stuff or nothing.

Maybe so.

I was pondering this, and was surprised something came to mind right away.

Generally speaking, the events of my life I view the most ruefully are those times when I acted selfishly when I should have stepped up to the plate. When I think of them, I still wince. To someone else it might seem trivial.

I remember a co-worker I walked away from as a young man, when I worked some tough jobs in the summers before graduating from school. We were working at a terrible job loading freight, and it was hot as hell. My shift was over and the heat had made me so sick I knew I was coming back to work the next day not really recovered. This co-worker, a friend, calls out to me to go help him finish a hard job.

I just kept walking. Of course, he never spoke to me again. I can't blame him.

I still think about this today with regret. I could have done something else. Even just going over to him and sitting down and saying I was too sick to work, talk about how we both can walk away from this, not finishing it, etc. But what I did was just wrong. I regret it. Will confession clear my conscience?

Quote: odiousgambit

This co-worker, a friend, calls out to me to go help him finish a hard job.

I just kept walking. ..... But what I did was just wrong. I regret it. Will confession clear my conscience?

That's your confession??? I stepped on a spider once rather than just letting him outside. I've never gotten over it.

I thought this thread was for serious regret and atonement. Like the time you left a hit-n-run accident, one where you caused a fatality, and got away with it. Or those months in your youth where you stole from your employer so often, and at such levels, it drove him into bankruptcy, then his wife left him and led to his eventual suicide, and got away with it. Or the time you pulled a practical joke that got waaaaay out of hand and fatally backfired on the guy's girlfriend, and yet you got away with it.

Are we gonna hear any stories like that?

Quote: zippyboy

That's your confession??? I stepped on a spider once rather than just letting him outside. I've never gotten over it.

I thought this thread was for serious regret and atonement. Like the time you left a hit-n-run accident, one where you caused a fatality, and got away with it. Or those months in your youth where you stole from your employer so often, and at such levels, it drove him into bankruptcy, then his wife left him and led to his eventual suicide, and got away with it. Or the time you pulled a practical joke that got waaaaay out of hand and fatally backfired on the guy's girlfriend, and yet you got away with it.

Are we gonna hear any stories like that?

Nah--that's what Jerry Springer is for. We're boring people with consciences here.

odiousgambit, I do think talking about it as you have marvelously done can indeed clear your conscience and if you are a believer it might be great to know that God forgives you. However, when it comes to forgiving ourselves and even others for that matter we often wonder why does it still sting even after confession when we think about some selfish act in the past. As human beings we can forgive but we can't forget, nor do we really want to. The lingering small amount of shame or guilt is a thorn in our side to remind us how to act in the future.

I have sacramentally confessed this already of course, but it still haunts me for some reason. In high school I used to drive my little brother to and from school on occasion. We had a stick shift truck that I loved to drive and my brother just got his learners and hated stickshifts. Some friends of mine wanted to watch a movie after school so when I got to the theather I told my brother he couldn't come and he had to drive home. I ran into the theater with my friends. My little bro sat in the parking lot crying for a while and they tried to drive home, after he stalled out four times trying to get out of the parking lot he finally called my dad to come get him. What an awful act of selfishness on my part. I don't think I have ever made my dad more mad. However, from that moment on - after confession - my relationship with my brother changed. Every time I am tempted to selfishness with him or with others I remember that awful feeling I have in my gut, even now as I write this, and I want to desperately serve others and feel the joy that comes from loivng others not myself.

Anyway for your penance I would ask you to work an extra half-hour or so at your job even after quitting time or pray three "Glory Be" prayers for those who make a living through the sweat of their brows.