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Confessional
| May 9th, 2016 at 4:09:45 PM permalink | |
| Face Member since: Oct 24, 2012 Threads: 61 Posts: 3941 |
I see we're on the same page =)
Oh, it's a must. There is no other option.
Oh, I do. I suppose I was using the colloquial use of "friend". It is one of those words that has a million meanings. I just didn't feel like typing "A guy I was really close to until I found out about him and now I still enjoy his company but I don't let him into important areas of my life" =p Anyways, those were just examples, the things in my past I've thought about that have shown me what I have done in place of this forgiveness that I'm ignorant of. They're not my issue. I'm over those =p
Because I'm that person. Be bold and risk defeat, or be cautious and encourage it. |
| May 9th, 2016 at 4:27:43 PM permalink | |
| petroglyph Member since: Aug 3, 2014 Threads: 25 Posts: 6227 | Obviously That is a tough one The last official act of any government is to loot the treasury. GW |
| May 9th, 2016 at 7:07:30 PM permalink | |
| Evenbob Member since: Oct 24, 2012 Threads: 146 Posts: 25011 |
The only people we 'must' forgive are minor children, they don't know any better. We must forgive family to an extent, because we have to deal with them. If they steal from us, forgive them and never put yourself in that position again. This is blood family I'm talking about, not wives. Everybody else? Screw em. I have a fine line, if you cross it you're gone. No forgiveness, I don't do that. It's a learning experience, I just learned I can't trust you. Adios. I'm guessing it's family you're talking about. Yes you have to forgive them if you want to keep dealing with them. Trust but be wary. If you take a risk, you may lose. If you never take a risk, you will always lose. |
| May 9th, 2016 at 8:16:47 PM permalink | |
| Wizard Administrator Member since: Oct 23, 2012 Threads: 239 Posts: 6095 | I confess I had lustful thoughts of my 8th grade Spanish teacher. Knowledge is Good -- Emil Faber |
| May 9th, 2016 at 9:10:57 PM permalink | |
| FrGamble Member since: Oct 24, 2012 Threads: 67 Posts: 7596 | One of the biggest mistakes we often make is confusing the word forgive with a completely different word - forget. Forgiving is a healthy thing, forgetting is a sign something is wrong. To forgive someone never means to pretend the slight, the wrong, or the evil ever happened. In some cases forgiveness means that we never have anything more to do with that person. This often happens with acquaintances or fishing partners. This also can happen when the wrong done to us is especially grave. I'll never forget talking to the woman who was struggling to forgive her rapist. She said, "I'm just not ready to be friends with this person again, I must not have really forgiven them." My response was to tell her that whether you ever forgive the person or not you should never, ever be friends with this person again! You should never see them or discus them or think about them. Your forgiveness is to set you free from allowing this person and evil they did to you to continue to haunt and have power over you. In other cases usually involving close long term friends that you highly value and family members (most especially including wives) your forgiveness allows the process of rebuilding trust to begin again. It does not mean that forgiveness restores trust to where it was before the offense. It simply means that through actions the person has the opportunity to earn back your trust and that you are rooting for them to do this. “It is with the smallest brushes that the artist paints the most exquisitely beautiful pictures.” ( |
| May 9th, 2016 at 9:50:22 PM permalink | |
| Evenbob Member since: Oct 24, 2012 Threads: 146 Posts: 25011 |
In your entire post you never gave credit to, or blamed god. I knew you could do it. I have to disagree. You cannot forgive unless you also forget. For instance, my brother got extremely mad at me a couple years ago and said some very hurtful things. I forgave him and forgot about it, because I know he felt badly even though he never said anything. A long time ago I found my the GF was cheating on me, I caught her in the act. I was terribly hurt and I forgave her eventually. But not really because I never forgot the hurt. What happens is, time passes and you think you've forgiven. But you never do because you can never forget. I spoke to her 2 years ago and my bitterness surprised me. I hadn't forgiven at all. If you take a risk, you may lose. If you never take a risk, you will always lose. |
| May 10th, 2016 at 4:12:22 AM permalink | |
| odiousgambit Member since: Oct 28, 2012 Threads: 154 Posts: 5104 |
I absolutely agree .
exactly Face, if you don't get it, think this is just gobbledygook, I understand, don't sweat it. But I hope eventually, you do get it. People who say you must forgive, and who have it right, are wanting peace for you. Not for the transgressor. If you have moved on from, say, the guy who no-showed, but feel like you need to take one more step, it certainly is NOT to try to hook up with him for another fishing expedition. You can empathize and say, yeah, maybe he is screwing up his life, got drunk and overslept, isn't man enough to apologize profusely. Worse, you maybe see he just figures people will accept it and goes on screwing things up. If you had bonded with him as a friend, you can hope and pray he gets straightened out, and rejoice if he does. But you don't have to forget, you don't have to feel guilty about taking steps. We can forgive a criminal who has changed and warrants it. But he serves his sentence out. After that, we shall be wary too. But maybe we no longer have to hate him; it's what it does to us. I'm Still Standing, Yeah, Yeah, Yeah [it's an old guy chant for me] |
| May 10th, 2016 at 6:21:51 AM permalink | |
| Nareed Member since: Oct 24, 2012 Threads: 346 Posts: 12545 |
The second question is "Are you sure?" If you are, and if you must, then I'd advice you to talk with someone you can discuss the specifics of the case with. If there is a way, it goes through that route. Donald Trump is a one-term LOSER |
| May 10th, 2016 at 9:47:34 AM permalink | |
| Ayecarumba Member since: Oct 24, 2012 Threads: 89 Posts: 1744 |
What I mean is that have you been truly forgiven by another for one (or more) of your own transgressions? If you have not had that experience of grace, I don't think we, as the selfish people we are, can understand how to forgive. It is not in our nature. |
| May 10th, 2016 at 10:49:53 AM permalink | |
| Evenbob Member since: Oct 24, 2012 Threads: 146 Posts: 25011 |
Nobody ever really forgives, not in my experience. They give lip service to it, they work to get along with the person, but it's always there under the surface. I forgave my brother because I wasn't injured to begin with. He caused no actual harm. We're hardwired not to forgive, it's part of our survival programming. Making the same mistake twice can be fatal in some environments. If I'm told I'm forgiven by somebody, I wait and see. I always find out it wasn't true. If you take a risk, you may lose. If you never take a risk, you will always lose. |