Pet Peeves

Quote: DRich

I miss Frank Burns. He was definitely the best character on that show, I still record MASH and watch it on Mondays.

Frank Burns ate worms.

The character was more funny when Potter showed up as Potter knew how to handle his type.

I am finding that I will use the female standard pronouns for a trans-woman without much of a second thought; like that recent person on Jeopardy. Or vice versa.

I have always used 'they' sometimes, casually I guess, as long as I can remember, when someone else might have considered it wrong usage. I'm going to have to think about some examples. But I can say for sure that it is very jarring to hear 'they/them' used in all situations for a single person. If the person is John Smith, say, I instead will just use the first or last name instead of a pronoun.

In person it seems to me there is no need for third person pronouns:

"Hi, John. What are you doing? What will you be doing? I saw you were working on your project." So no problem there, am I missing something?

So all this dreck is a problem for people who write about these folk? and not really a problem for me? Well, I guess if I'm talking to someone about these types and don't use the preferred pronouns, some types will be 'offended on their behalf' I guess. I hate people like that though and interact little with them. My age helps give me a pass as well.

Quote: odiousgambit

I am finding that I will use the female standard pronouns for a trans-woman without much of a second thought; like that recent person on Jeopardy. Or vice versa.

I have always used 'they' sometimes, casually I guess, as long as I can remember, when someone else might have considered it wrong usage. I'm going to have to think about some examples. But I can say for sure that it is very jarring to hear 'they/them' used in all situations for a single person. If the person is John Smith, say, I instead will just use the first or last name instead of a pronoun.

In person it seems to me there is no need for third person pronouns:

"Hi, John. What are you doing? What will you be doing? I saw you were working on your project." So no problem there, am I missing something?

So all this dreck is a problem for people who write about these folk? and not really a problem for me? Well, I guess if I'm talking to someone about these types and don't use the preferred pronouns, some types will be 'offended on their behalf' I guess. I hate people like that though and interact little with them. My age helps give me a pass as well.

A polite waiter is talking to his assistant. The waiter does not know the names of the dozen people seated at the long table. One of the customers politely requested that he (or she) be referred to as ‘they’. Back to the waiter…. He tells his aide to bring them a glass of water. Although only one human requested water, the assistant brings a dozen glasses over…. This gets ‘they’ unhappy. ‘They’ starts causing a ruckus. Security is called and told to get ‘them’ the F out of here. Instead of just kicking out the one wacko, security kicks out all 12 customers…

I could go on….

Quote: SOOPOO

A polite waiter is talking to his assistant. The waiter does not know the names of the dozen people seated at the long table. One of the customers politely requested that he (or she) be referred to as ‘they’. Back to the waiter…. He tells his aide to bring them a glass of water. Although only one human requested water, the assistant brings a dozen glasses over…. This gets ‘they’ unhappy. ‘They’ starts causing a ruckus. Security is called and told to get ‘them’ the F out of here. Instead of just kicking out the one wacko, security kicks out all 12 customers…

I could go on….

Much ado about nothing
Security is a tough job
If security deems the whole group has to go then go
I could go on and on

Quote: terapined

Much ado about nothing
Security is a tough job
If security deems the whole group has to go then go
I could go on and on

You are hurting my brain…..!!!!

Resummarize….. calling a single human being ‘they’ is STUPID.

Quote: SOOPOO

You are hurting my brain…..!!!!

Resummarize….. calling a single human being ‘they’ is STUPID.

People should be called what they request
Bare in mind half my family were told to change their names when they moved to the USA
Doesn't matter the names their parents picked. Americans were adamant that immigrants changed their name to something American society thought was more appropriate
So my Mom went along but she was not happy
Finally half way through her life, she informed everybody that she no longer wanted to be referred to a name American society was insisting on.
She went back to her real name
Everybody honored that request
How hard is it to call somebody by a name they prefer
To some people like my Mom, it was important

Quote: terapined

People should be called what they request
Bare in mind half my family were told to change their names when they moved to the USA
Doesn't matter the names their parents picked. Americans were adamant that immigrants changed their name to something American society thought was more appropriate
So my Mom went along but she was not happy
Finally half way through her life, she informed everybody that she no longer wanted to be referred to a name American society was insisting on.
She went back to her real name
Everybody honored that request
How hard is it to call somebody by a name they prefer
To some people like my Mom, it was important

I totally agree with you Mom if she/her/they/them/him didn't like her name change it. This story though has nothing to do with the discussion on pronouns.

Quote: terapined

People should be called what they request
Bare in mind half my family were told to change their names when they moved to the USA
Doesn't matter the names their parents picked. Americans were adamant that immigrants changed their name to something American society thought was more appropriate
So my Mom went along but she was not happy
Finally half way through her life, she informed everybody that she no longer wanted to be referred to a name American society was insisting on.
She went back to her real name
Everybody honored that request
How hard is it to call somebody by a name they prefer
To some people like my Mom, it was important

As long as your mom has a name that is singular and not plural I am happy she is happy! Just to remind you, I took care of the transgendered that we’re having their surgeries. I would NEVER refer to one of them with a pronoun that they were not comfortable with. It’s the ‘plural’ aspect that leads to misinterpretation.

To my knowledge I never took care of a ‘non-binary’ individual.

Quote: SOOPOO

As long as your mom has a name that is singular and not plural I am happy she is happy! .

????????
It's foreign
How do you yourself determine a name from another language is not plural
It was hyphenated by the way

Quote: missedhervee

It need not require interacting with the person directly; consider this: you see your son walking down the street with a person of unclear sex.

Later, you decide to ask him who his new friend is.

Of course you could cop out and ask "who is your new friend?" but that is not how it's usually done; no, usually you'd say "who was that guy" or "who was that girl I saw you walking with today enroute to the bathhouse?"

Maybe some questions should never be asked.

Yeah, I think "So who is your new friend", is the best bet in any of the possible circumstances. If its a friend, you are covered, if its somebody they are romantically interested, you are covered and don't appear overbearing. I don't see how that is a cop out at all?

Or if you trust your son, you could just not ask (it could just be a random schoolmate he was walking with), and if it was somebody important to him, he would probably bring it up.