Can you truthfully claim to love someone and not offer them any meaningful support?

The question is not that simple.

I don't want to trot out examples, as I prefer an abstract discussion. So I'll just restate it: when you love someone, should you offer them what support is in your power to give?

I don't believe in unconditional love, nor in abstract love. That is to say, you love people for a reason and you show your love with actions. By far the most effective and important way to show love is by offering moral and material support when and as one is capable of. Naturally my vote is "No."

Yes with a caveat.

Perhaps in the past you have offered a person support but refuse to going forward until that person proves something to you.

An analogy might be a child of yours that has had drug problems. You support and try to help them get through their problem but realize they continue to relapse and take advantage of you. At some point I believe you may cut them off until they can show you that they have been reformed and are truly trying to solve the problem. Even though you may be estranged from them, it doesn't necessarily indicate that there is not still love for them.

Interesting thought DRich. It made me think about if material support is not often used as a false sign of love. So often we throw change to a begger almost as if paying a toll to pass by rather than out of love. For example, especially if you had loads of money would giving some of that away that show love? Wouldn't that moral support Nareed mentioned matter much more? Not only would DRich's good concern be recognized in making sure that the one you loved showed some change, but then the rich person would truly be invested and not just throwing his or her material wealth around.

What it boils down to is that we don't want someone to just solve all our problems with a wave of a wand, we want someone to love us, believe in us, support us, and be there for us - to truly share in the ups and downs of life is a good description of someone who loves. May we all have a few people like this in our lives.

Quote: FrGamble

Interesting thought DRich. It made me think about if material support is not often used as a false sign of love.

You focus too much on money. I wonder why.

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Wouldn't that moral support Nareed mentioned matter much more?

Yes, that is much more important.

But it also needs to be shown.

Quote: Nareed

You focus too much on money. I wonder why.

It's a by-product of poverty.

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Yes, that is much more important.

But it also needs to be shown.

For sure!

Quote: FrGamble

It's a by-product of poverty.

To quote the immortal Victor Hugo: " ? "

I think I rendered the poll meaningless with the explanation.

My position is that love without support is a meaningless word.

I'll redo it in a few months...

I think the word "love" is the most overused word in the dictionary.

Love as it is used, should be replaced with "attract". Love isn't eternal, it is temporary. So if when all the happy people going around falsely say "I love you" they should be saying, "I am attracted to you". That would explain how supposedly well intentioned people can get married and promise undying love, only to see that position reverse in some period of time. Love wasn't/isn't real. We say it, we play it, to get something out of it.

When a couple splits up, they are saying " I am no longer attracted to you". The price of staying with you is not worth the benefit. We are little better [if] then animals on the Serengetti , if the truth be known.

The reason we give is this, it is because it makes us feel better, we aren't doing it for the other person. We don't do it for the receiver, we do it for ourselves, as in the saying "it is better to give than receive".

It goes back a long way. We need acceptance so we pretend to be like the group, or tribe or organization. Like Tina Turner sang "what's love got to do with it", what's love but a second hand emotion.

The next most overused word is friend. The word love is a tool. It usually means, I would like to control you. Or, I would like to have sex, or a family or acquire power from you, or money. It does not mean what we pretend it does. I desire to possess some part of you, therefore "I love you". Gimme some. I want your "love" therefore I will use these words. It is terms used by master and slave. The first to use the word in a relationship is baiting a trap, and the second the other responds in kind using "those words", the dye is cast, until the example changes. It is a game.

What is love? The next most overused word is "friend". The words "convenient acquaintance who could benefit me in some way", I think is more appropriate.
In a relationship two like person's will not stay together. Using different [or clinical] terms we are either 1) linear or 2) hysterical. Two of either will not last. One has to be dominant.