The Insanity of the United States Postal Service

Quote: Face

I didn't say Hamburg...

Ya said south of Buffalo! That is the last town that matches that description. Further south and you would be posting about being a CO....... lol

Quote:

Basically (and I'm just rambling because you might enjoy knowing, as I did), an LLV is just an aluminum bodied box on an S-10 chassis. The LLV has a 2WD front axle and a 4WD rear axle, also both from the S-10. It gives a sort of weird track because the tires don't line up. The rears come to the edge of the body, while the fronts are tucked in a good 4"-6". That plus its puny 2,700lb curb weight makes them god awful in the snow. The "whatever acronym" that I drive has equally sized axles, so just my fronts have to tramp through the snow. The rears get to follow in their tracks. Regardless, I hear that all of them are just the pits in winter, and I believe it completely. Just in soggy shoulders I've already seen some slipping, and it's not like these things are torque monsters. Especially on the side roads, I am predicting many lost tempers in my future.

That is surprising as I had no idea they used GM parts. I thought Flexible was the outfit that made them. Hold your temper, their life cycle is near its end. Word is the next ones will be more a mini-UPS looking thing.

Quote:

You mean NOVM. Apparently mail has feelings, so we are not allowed to call it "junk mail". It's "NOVM" - No Obvious Value Mail. This is the Federal Government, remember? ;) We also can't say "1st class", as I guess it's elitist. It's "DPS". And no 2nd class, either. It's "FFS" or "Flats". Can't have a government sponsored caste system, now, can we? =p

Weird, they used to say "1st Class" and for that matter I got the term from the USPS!

Quote:

On cost, we learned a bit more that you may find interesting. Though we are Federally regulated, not a single penny of any USPS service, pension, or payroll comes from tax dollars. It is completely self sustaining, something I don't think I ever realized or thought about. Also, about the whole "USPS is in trouble". Yeah, a lot had to change with the advent of online shopping, and changes were made. But the real blow was that the Fed decreed the USPS had to escrow monies for future pensions and health care costs. I can't remember the date they said they needed covered to, nor how many millions of dollars it was, but they're almost there. And while I don't remember hard numbers, I do know it was so much money so far in advance that they've escrowed money to cover pensions of employees who haven't even been born yet.

That I did know, and in case I forgot there are huge signs in both the main post office, where I picked up the bees, and the ultra-convenient satellite one that is less than a block form my domicile. I also knew about the escrow. When I was hired at USAA they killed their pension the same quarter for the same reason. It was many places, and a final nail in the coffin of most private pensions. What happened was they changed was not that you had to "escrow" it so much as they changed how long you had to cover.

(WARNING: FINANCE CONTENT)

When you set a pension you are setting up what is called an "annuity." Lets say that an employee will retire at 65 and we are going to assume they live to age 80. They get $2K per month. So you have to figure the present value (PV) of a stream of payments of $2K per month over those years. If you stretch the age to 85, or if the expected rate of return goes down, your PV shoots way, way up. If both happen you have real problems. The USPS and others had real problems.

A good thing that came of it seems to be the place has done some real reform. Carriers now work full days, years back I would see one left his truck outside his home for hours. They seem to grasp that mail volumes are going to keep falling. I do not send most bill payments by mail and have not for over 10 years now. Talking $50 a year in stamps I probably save. NOVM is down. Everything is down. I still see the day when we go to 3 days a week mail and most places require cluster-boxes.

Anyhow, keep us updated. At the rate O&G is going I may look at the night sort jobs myself.

I see ads from USPS on TV every day now,
and never used to. They are really pushing
mailing packages. I mail maybe 3 items a
year, and all my bills are online. All my
statements from everybody are online as
well. I still get junk mail, but not much.

My wife works for a major insurance co
and their mail room is huge. They mail
thousands of letters a day because the
law says they have to. They also send
tons of stuff to their agents, and they
have thousands of them.

Quote: AZDuffman

Ya said south of Buffalo! That is the last town that matches that description. Further south and you would be posting about being a CO....... lol

I said a suburb of Buffalo. Are you trying to AoS's me? Is your birthday July 9th?! XD

Quote: AZD

That is surprising as I had no idea they used GM parts. I thought Flexible was the outfit that made them. Hold your temper, their life cycle is near its end. Word is the next ones will be more a mini-UPS looking thing.

All GM, made by Grummin. Actually, everything but the motor is all S-10. Axles, suspension, gauge clusters... and it shows. Gods, but it is so terrible, and I've owned an S-10 before. The engine... is a Pontiac XD It's like we sat down, got drunk, and said "Let's play 'who can make the most ridiculously bad vehicle ever!'" I will say, though, that at walking speed it is as nimble as a dragonfly. The LLV's especially can do a U turn in a double driveway without going into the grass. It's great at the box; it's a goddamn disaster at 55! With such a low steering ratio, the slightest twitch sends the thing careening wildly off the road. Compound that with the complete lack of body stability and my 0.9% chance of dying before 50 just went through the roof.

Quote: AZD

Weird, they used to say "1st Class" and for that matter I got the term from the USPS!

That's because that's what it used to be. PC knows no bounds, my friend. Even the mail requires protection from Really Bad Words that can hurt Feelings ;)

Quote: Evenbob

I see ads from USPS on TV every day now,
and never used to. They are really pushing
mailing packages. I mail maybe 3 items a
year, and all my bills are online. All my
statements from everybody are online as
well. I still get junk mail, but not much.

Yup, all a part of their marketing to fix what was wrong. Some of it is just plain marketing, calling what used to be 1st class "Priority Mail". Nothing changed but the name, but golly, it seems so much snazzier ;) "If it fits, it ships" is another, but that's actually an improvement. That and the ability to track of packages is to compete with UPS / FedEx.

Honestly, while packages are becoming the saving grace of the USPS, they are my kryptonite. I've already begun fantasizing about screaming in someone's face "JUST GO TO THE F#$%ING STORE!!!" lol. It's taking me a bit to get a system for this aspect; I suppose it's where I am still "soft".

I'll have more on that, too. Got a post ready to go, but we're not there yet. Stay tuned.

Alright, I'm an RCA, but what is an RCA?

Well, it's a part-time, non-career position that basically fills in for the RC when he gets sick, hurt, or wants a day or 10 off. How much you work is dependent on the route.

The routes are all evaluated by an assessor who determines how long your day will take from sorting the mail, packing the truck, and making the deliveries. (Don't quote me on the numbers exactly, but the gist...) An "H" route is evaluated at less than 8 hours. These RC's work 12 days out of 14 with only Sundays off, and have no RCA. A "J" route is an 8.5hr route and the RC works 11 days, having all Sundays and every other Saturday off. This is the route I do. A "K" route is 9hr+; these guys get the whole weekend off. Once you go over 10hrs, the route is reassessed and chunks get cut off. Perhaps a new development came in or the route otherwise experienced growth. Every time that happens, the route is reassessed. "K" routes are the tits. The RC gets weekends off, the RCA gets more work.



So as an RCA for a "J" route, I am only guaranteed to work every other Saturday, at decent but greatly reduced pay, and no bennies of any kind. No time off, no insurance, no retirement, etc. It might suck, but this is the only way to get in. The flip side is there is no limit, really, for an industrious fellow. Despite the presence of RCA's, there are opportunities. RCA's get hurt, they can't handle the job, they quit for better opportunities, so RC's are often left solo. This means that RCA's are free to train on other routes in addition to "their" route, and are not limited to their home base. I can train anywhere I'd like, provided I give Hamburg priority (I can't pick up a Saturday in my home town when my RC needs me, for example). There are RC's who just work every other Saturday, typically mother's with kids at home or retired blokes looking for purpose. Other RC's are pulling down 50+hrs a week, as they've done the work to learn routes all over, always show up, and have become the "guy/girl to call". So far, I've been on the actual job for 14 days and have worked 10 of them =D



On getting "career" or a full time position, it's unfortunately a humongous crap shoot. It's completely seniority based, giving no room for performance judgements or anything. When a position opens up in an office, every RCA of that office only gets to bid, and the highest seniority bidder gets it. If no one from that office bids, it is then opened to the entire USPS across the country. Again, seniority gets it. Because of this, there is sort of a macabre underground. You know how all CO's can tell you to the day how long until they can retire? At the USPS, it's a lot weirder. Everyone knows everything about what's wrong with everyone else. "Bill had a stroke, he's at (X) office. It was mild but you never know." "Sally needs knee reconstruction, it'll be her third time out. I dunno if she's gonna make it back." "I heard Betty has a hernia again..." Hell, I ain't been there only two weeks and I've already wondered to myself if I could convince my RC to go skiing with me XD Not that you'd wish harm to your co-workers,... but you still kind of do. It's very, very weird. Transfers might consider proximity to home, occasionally who the manager is, but a decent sized chunk of the decision is the makeup of the RC's. Youthful offices are typhoid, no one wants to go there. Find an office full of 50somethings, and you'll have a 100 requests to transfer to it. On becoming career, policy says you have to be RCA for a year first. Despite that, I have heard of some lucking into career within a few months as RC's dropped out. Of course, my RC was an RCA for 9 years, 2 months before he got in. Like I said, huge crapshoot.



So why bother? This sounds terrible!

Well, it's about the payoff. Most know the obvious. $20+ an hour, health, pension, all that good stuff. Additionally, there's the nice kick of having a job you can go anywhere with. Even the smallest podunk blip in the middle of nowhere has a post office. Whether I stay here, or move to Fla to help Babs run TreeTop Airlines, or bug off to Wyoming to live with the wolves, or go look for a fight with mickycrimm in Montana, or live on a boat in St Thomas, there will always be a post office there to transfer to. Not that I have any intentions of moving, it would just be nice to have the ability. But one of the best comes with the difference between RCA and CCA.

CCA's got it bad, and I'm not talking about all the walking and humping a satchel. They are micromanaged to death. They have to show up at a precise time. They have to be on the street by a precise time. All along their route there are bar codes they need to scan to track their progress, and they need to be at all their checkpoints at certain times. If they're early, the have to dawdle. If late, they have to hustle. If they get done early despite dawdling, they are put to work doing random BS in the office until their out time.



RCA's? Ha! We are given one task - get the mail in the box. "We" start at 0800. I start at 0715. Girl today strolled in at 0915. Boss man don't say shit. In fact, in ten days, I have spoken to him maybe 4 total minutes. And remember that "evaluated time" I talked about to determine route hours and rate of pay? That's your salary. My 8.5hr evaluated route, even though I am new and mostly retarded, was completed today before 1400. Took me 7hrs. I get paid 8.5hrs. When I rolled with my RCA splitting the route between us during training, we were getting done by 1300. Paid for 8.5. When he or the other long timer roll solo, they arrive at 0800 and are out before 1300. Paid for 8.5.



This is one of the factors that make this so unlike any job I've ever had (more oddities later). You are jammin' all day long. Granted, you could mosey, if you wanted. It is unionized, you are guaranteed the standard meal and rest breaks. But Dispatch, the time the big truck comes to collect the mail, is the only time barrier, and it's at the end of the day. 1730 on Saturday, 1830 on weekdays. Other than that, your day is how you make it. And c'mon... who doesn't want to go home early every day? So from the minute I get to my case at ~0715 to the minute I am back sitting in my truck to go home, I am straight jammin'. No stop and rest, no stop and stretch, no get some air. Eating, drinking, smoking, all done on the fly. Piss stops at random dead ends. I won't say I crank it up to 11, because obvious =p, but every day is like that one day at work per year when you get in the mood to be a superhero and the boss is behind you encouraging you and you put out maximum effort. Every day, non stop slam mode, with only one thought - FASTER!



I'll let this simmer and give a chance for comment. Next up: A day in the life.

Quote: Evenbob

I see ads from USPS on TV every day now,
and never used to. They are really pushing
mailing packages. I mail maybe 3 items a
year, and all my bills are online. All my
statements from everybody are online as
well. I still get junk mail, but not much.

The USPS has advertised on and off for years. Way back it was about "remember the ZIP code." In the 1990s they bragged about how many more planes they "used" than FedEx and UPS. Of course, the word was "used" and not "owned." Many if not most commercial planes seem to have some sort of mail on them.

I hope you're still looking for a good
job, everybody I know who works for,
or worked for the PO, absolutely
hated it. And I mean hate with a
passion.

I remember when Priority Mail started.
My postmaster said is it was a scam.
There are no PM trucks, no matter
that they have trucks painted that way.
PM goes on a plane or truck first, then
1st class. PM only gets real priority if
there is no room for the rest of the
mail. She said that never happens, so
PM is a giant scam. It could happen at
Christmas, but rarely does.

Quote: Evenbob

I remember when Priority Mail started.
My postmaster said is it was a scam.
There are no PM trucks, no matter
that they have trucks painted that way.
PM goes on a plane or truck first, then
1st class. PM only gets real priority if
there is no room for the rest of the
mail. She said that never happens, so
PM is a giant scam. It could happen at
Christmas, but rarely does.

I had a boss made us use PM. At first is was just about $3 and not a bad deal for us since whatever you could fit in the envelope shipped but 1st Class we had to use the scale. Then they just rocketed the price and the deal was no longer good. By then they moved us to another region and another boss.

Quote: Evenbob

I hope you're still looking for a good
job, everybody I know who works for,
or worked for the PO, absolutely
hated it. And I mean hate with a
passion.

I'm still looking for a job, period, nevermind "good". Car sales, a fab shop making snowplows and dump trucks for the state, retail management, I feel like there is nowhere I haven't applied, each with a one-off, specific cover letter and resume customized to the needs of that specific job. It's effing crazy. I even tossed my name out to everyone I know for under the table grunt work. HVAC gopher, septic pumper, you name it. I can't even get a gig working a cash register at Lowe's. I don't know wtf the problem is.

And I can totally see the hate. It's like a weird factory job in terms of physical work and monotony. And come winter, I am going to have periods where I'm going to have to stop myself from killing everyone I see. I can see it already.

But no job is worse than a shitty job. I have maxed out favors, maxed out all my cash sources. Even selling all of my possessions save my truck might only buy me another 6-8 weeks. It's either start acquiring credit cards or go on the dole, and I'd rather give $20 handies at the park than do either =p

Quote: EB

I remember when Priority Mail started.
My postmaster said is it was a scam.
There are no PM trucks, no matter
that they have trucks painted that way.
PM goes on a plane or truck first, then
1st class. PM only gets real priority if
there is no room for the rest of the
mail. She said that never happens, so
PM is a giant scam. It could happen at
Christmas, but rarely does.

It's not a "scam", but it is simply nothing other than marketing. I don't remember it word for word as at this time I started to space out a bit in training, but there is little to no difference in Priority. It goes to the same office, in the same box, gets sorted into the same crate, flown on the same plane... I think it adds tracking, maybe insurance, but otherwise it's just regular old 1st class mail.

Quote: Face

I'm still looking for a job, period, nevermind "good". Car sales, a fab shop making snowplows and dump trucks for the state, retail management, I feel like there is nowhere I haven't applied, each with a one-off, specific cover letter and resume customized to the needs of that specific job. It's effing crazy. I even tossed my name out to everyone I know for under the table grunt work. HVAC gopher, septic pumper, you name it. I can't even get a gig working a cash register at Lowe's. I don't know wtf the problem is.

Hey, it is not just you. This economy is *not* good no matter what they say. Guys I know, one has an MBA and he was the one couldn't deliver mail fast enough. He is a phone-monkey for a proxy firm, drives the scout-car for oversize truck loads, delivers wings, and basically anything else he can to maintain himself. I got him on a side hustle typing titles. He is ready to go sell cars.

Another I know, wouldn't say what he is making but my guess is it is not great. College degree, good mortgage skills. Pay is just not there.

Then there is me. I am lucky that what I like doing best is something I happen to be very good at. That was not the case for me in the past. Unlucky for me is that I have become a freelancer for life. My last gig just ended. The next starts who knows when. My other lucky thing is that I have developed this freelance thing to the point that I have good contacts and several solid things to pursue. I will get by, but I thank my personal God that I have made it to where I have. The last "real" job offer I got was for less than the same place paid me two years before! Salaries are stuck at the same level of 2008 in mortgage and title work. I remind myself that a Free Lance was still a Knight and thus still highly trained and respected.

Don't be down, I have done worse than your USPS gig. Wait it out. Either things will get better in general or you will get better and the hustle thing. Seems you are a good start, learning routes. Keep the irons in the fire.

So, a day in the life.

As I said, I get there at about 0715. I splash some water on my face, chug a bunch more to wake up and get the body working, and then I set to the task. First stop, The Case.



The Case is just shelving 5 rows high that encircles you, and is divided into slots. Each slot represents an address on your route, and they're all in order. While all of my 1st (DPS) and 2nd (FFS) class is presorted and stashed elsewhere, there is still some sorting that needs be done. Some DPS and FFS just can't be read by the automated machines. That gets piled in a box and is waiting for me to get there. "Box holders", those junk paper catalogs from Lowe's, or coupon booklets, or, you know, junk mail, often come in big bundles. They are in order, and some just take them to the street as their own bundle. I don't, for reasons I'll get to later. All that stuff I case.

The Case is the first skill that can make or break, and is heavy on memory and recollection. Some of my case is very easy. The developments and HOA's? My god. I need to apologize to AOS, because I love these things now. Every one is either perfectly symmetrical counting up by odds to one end and down by evens to the other, or they use a (some acronym) cluster box. One box, one stop, bang out 40 houses. Love it. Others make me homicidal. One of my roads I hit 5 different times during the day. Some in the very beginning, some in the middle, some at the tail end. There is no odd/even in any part, they're all jumbled together. On one very long stretch, it goes odd/even and counts up AND down for about 2 miles. So not only do you have to read the number and guess which one of the five sections of the case it's in, then guess which row that section is found, you also have to read each individual address on the case because you can't assume 2604 is right after or before 2602. In fact, it might have 8 houses in between it. Madness. If you have a good memory, you can start to piece together your route and match numbers to houses, which gives you what part of the day it falls in, and whereabouts on the case it's located. It's the weirdest sort of association, but I'm picking it up quick. If you can't, you simply won't be able to deliver the mail. Job over.

About the time I'm done casing the randoms, I need a smoke. I take this time to load the DPS and FFS into the truck, which is already sorted and racked in order. DPS comes in 2' long plastic trays and I usually have about 4 or 5. I don't stack them like this clown. One slip and your day is an utter disaster.



My FFS comes in shorter yellow trays, as seen below. These I usually have 2-4. If I have less than two, I'll just case it, which saves me a "bundle" (stack of bullshit to work out of, explanation later). It's one of the many ways we're allowed to do things the way we see fit. If you can case the DPS quickly, as I can when it's less than two trays, the time spent casing in the office is more than made up for by not having the third bundle slow me down on the street. If it's two or more, it takes longer in office than I'd save. So you can tailor to your strength, or even make comfort decisions. 75 and sunny, I'll spend the time on the street. Other RC's bitching and complaining, I want out asap, I'll do it on the street. 5* and snowing, maybe I'll spend the extra time in the office =p



With my DPS and FFS on the cart, I go load my truck so I can smoke. Upon returning, it's decision time. I still have my random unsorted in the case, and now I gotta deal with SPR's or "spurs" (small parcels that can fit in a mailbox) and regular parcels that need dismounting to deliver. Packages is what has killed me the most as you really need a system to be able to deliver on the fly, because stopping and climbing in the back every time is murder. At a good 60 packages per day, you can't be f#$%ing around in the back all damn day. Some people use "flags", or bright neon cards the size of a letter, and case them with the mail. This way, as you deliver, every package has a visual marker that it's coming up. You get to the neon, you know you have a stop. The problem I had is that since not every house has mail, the flag can show but the package stop is still 4-5-10 houses away. In 4 houses, I'll forget the address for the package, pass it, and have to blow a U-turn. That's no good, so while it takes me a bit longer in office, I write a list, in order, that I tape to my gauge cluster. The extra 20 minutes I spend doing this saves me well over an hour and a shit ton of frustration from missing stops, especially when I don't notice until the end and the package I miss is on the other side of town. Or I missed three, and they're all on opposing corners of the map. Don't ask =p.



OK, packages are all sorted and noted. Now we pull the case. This is just grabbing an empty DPS tray and pulling it out in order, facing the right way, and not shuffling it. If you mess it up, soooo much time gets wasted. If you pull it upside down, you have to stretch to read the address. When in the truck, you are always doing minimum 6 different things at a time. Something as dumb as having to stretch instead of just glancing can add 3 entire hours to your day, no joke. DON'T ASK ME HOW I KNOW THIS! >< =p If you shuffle it, that raises other problems. If you know the route enough to anticipate addresses, you may notice the shuffled bit is out of place and you missed it, or can put it where it goes if it's coming up. Neither are a big deal or any deal whatsoever. If you don't know the route, you'll just keep looking at the wrong address and assuming you haven't got there yet. House after house you just look at that shuffled mail. Only when you realize "hmm, ain't worked that bundle in a minute" do you check, and find it was out of place and covering the right addresses, of which you just missed 10. You don't have to turn around unless it's certified or a package, but that does mean you have to case it when you get back or before hitting the road the next day. This job is one of seconds saved and lost here and there, and every single bit counts. You don't want to mess up.

Once that's all done, you take your now sorted mail, SPR's and packages and load them in the truck. This was my kryptonite Pt 2. I just couldn't get the packages sorted in the truck right. The long timers don't even look or write lists or anything. The remember all 30 package stops by memory, reach back without looking, and have the package they need. Mine get shuffled, they tip over, I shuffle them myself when digging... I'm getting better, but I still have a lot of time I can save in this aspect.

A loaded truck ready to go looks pretty much like this...



I keep my FFS in the middle since it's the most often used and easiest to reach, but whatever. These are the "bundles" I spoke of, 3 of them shown here on the top of the mail tray. If you case the FFS, you can get rid of the yellow tray and only have 2 bundles. That's 661 less glances to that third tray for my day; if I can ditch a bundle, I will ditch a bundle. The other 3-4 trays of DPS, the 1-2 of FFS, the maybe 1 more sorted randoms, and all the SPR's and packages are stashed around the truck in a system of your own design. You basically want the trays in some order that facilitates a quick change when one is empty, and your earliest delivered packages closest to your seat. Hopefully your started and ended your trays close together so you can switch two trays and save a stop, and can push packages forward as part of another stop, and can do all this in a cul de sac instead of the side of a 4-lane. Sometimes it's clockwork and it feels so good. Sometimes you have to move stuff to get to stuff, and that ever present clock in your ahead is ticking away the wasted time. Like I said, every single action from 0715 to ~1500 is one where you can gain or lose time. Every. Second. Counts.

Now you hit the streets, and this is where things enter the Twilight Zone. If I haven't bored you to tears yet and you're still with me, you might find the mental process interesting.

You simply cannot come to a stop at the box, read all three addresses next up in the tray, pick what you need, drive off, and do the same for every other box. Do that and you might finish your day just about the time you need to report to work the following day. You absolutely must read in clumps and somehow remember so you can anticipate where and if you need to stop, and where and how much you need to grab from which tray. To do this, I use the same skill I created to combat my poor math skills.

See, I can't do much math. Take percentages, for instance. If you asked me to find 17% of 86 and to show my work, under the threat of death or the reward of a million dollars, I'd be a dead man. I just can't do math. So what I've done is develop a way to figure it out using the sparse knowledge I have. What I do is I make "mental signs", basically pictures in my head like an electronic dot matrix sign you see on highways warning of construction or what have you. So, 17% of 86. I know 10% is just moving the decimal point over, so that's 8.6. I "create" a sign and "flash" it 8.6. I know 5% is just half of 10%, so that's 4.3. I "re-flash" 8.6 so I don't forget, make another sign, and "flash" 4.3. 2% of 86 is just a little less than half of 5%. Half would be 2.15, so let's sat it's 1.8. I then look at my signs. 8.6+4.3+1.8 = 14.7. I know 17% of 86 probably isn't exactly 14.7, but I'm not a chemist. It's close enough in my daily life. I dunno how weird this is or if it makes any sense, but it works for me. If you were to rattle off your birthday, social security number, credit card number, and PIN, I could be shopping as you some 10 days later. It sticks inside me, that's all I can say.

So that's how I deliver mail. Come to the first stop and as I approach, I read all three trays, my SPR list, and package list. 2811, 2811, 2816, 2395. Before I even hit the box, I already know I'm only grabbing from the third bundle, saving me seconds of glancing and reading bundles 1 and 2. As I grab the three bundle at the box, I see the address under it and give it a re-flash. 11, 11, 08, 2395, dropping the first two numbers as they're still 28XX. Before the mail is even in the box, I know it's another third bundle only, and already know the next box after that gets all three. Sure enough, 11, 11, 11, 2395. Do that box and I glance again as I depart... 97, 95, 97, 2395. Next stop, bundles 1 and 3 only. Of course, included in this is reading the box number itself, so it really is a cacophony in my head of non stop numbers, always changing, always flashing, always anticipating. On top of that, you have to remember the route. You're steering with one hand on the approach, switch to the other as you arrive so you can dig for mail. You're remembering your packages and switching steering wheel for mail for scanner. You're remembering to get this one signed, this one needs the 3849, 2322, 2324, 2322, 2198, next house is 2322, bundles 1 and 3, package in two miles, 2324 is closed on Saturdays so ditch the mail into the oops bucket and don't drive down that road, 2325, 2329, 2327, 2190, next house is 2326... have I mentioned I'm f#$%ing driving while doing this?! Check all seven goddamn mirrors, make sure I don't clip the flower bed on this one, this one's half in the ditch covered by weeds so don't drive into it, this one is surrounded by a thorn tree so remember to lean in, this one has the ants, this one has the bees, beep for this house cuz the dog ain't nice, 6744, 6744, 6868, 2064, next house gets nothing, house after that 1 and 2, Marley! Love this song! "Could you be looooved..." 94, 68, 6900, 2064, "And be looooved?" God, I miss BVI, 94, 68,... Package! F$%^! Goddamn it Bob! Check mirrors, u-turn, beep for dog, scan, deliver,... 94, 78, 6900, 2014....



All. F@#$ing. Day. That's delivering the mail. I have three spots where I just drive, on the road, for 30 - 260 seconds, depending on traffic lights. Those three times are the only times my head can be silent. The other 5-ish straight hours is the above. Remember the ATC in Breaking Bad after his daughter died? Just non stop rattling off numbers over and over? That was 20 seconds. Imagine Five. Straight. F#$%ing. Hours.

This here makes complete sense to me now. Oh yes, I totally get it o.O

But that's pretty much the entire day. Upon return you have to return all the empty trays, dump the outgoing letters and packages you brought back, return keys/phone/scanner, and re-case the mail you missed, but even on a bad day that takes me maybe 15 minutes. Days like today it took about 5. Wash your hands (it's about as dirty a job as engine rebuilding, believe it or not) piss and drink since you never stopped to do either all day, write in your time, and go your ass home.

A day in the life =) Next up: The Airing of Grievances. Only been working 10 days you say? Bite me. I got a lot of problems with you people, and now you're going to hear them! XO