The Insanity of the United States Postal Service

I guess this answers my question on whether the mailman has been reading my magazines before I get them.

Quote: rxwine

I guess this answers my question on whether the mailman has been reading my magazines before I get them.

Lol, so tempting! It's such a distraction, I'm glad you said something.

Both good and bad, you are teased or tortured all day. Many on my route are sportsmen, so there's a good deal of gun and fishing mags in the pile. I can't help be read little snippets of the cover, just maybe 3 words at a time (intermixed with the million non stop numbers cycling), so by the 8th or 9th one I deliver, I know what one of the articles are XD I also deliver to the local small airport and they have a lot of fun looking literature, and a lot of the pilots are local, so they get stuff, too. Flight mags and airplane swap sheets, stuff I want to sift through. Of course, I don't. Every second counts.

The bad is the same as the good. The Kardashians piss me off more than I can explain, and Jenner's transformation obviously put them all back on the map. Almost every single mag that day was his face or all their faces, just over and over and over again, all GD day. It was like a weird nightmare that wouldn't stop.

If the Patriots win the Superbowl this year, I'm going to have to quit. Seeing Brady's stupid face 600 times would all but guarantee newsworthy violence =p

Quote:

A day in the life =)

A day that adds to eventually 'going postal'
on somebody. Find another job.

Quote: Evenbob

A day that adds to eventually 'going postal'
on somebody. Find another job.

I'm trying! Even the trucking thing is something I've been looking into. Certainly I couldn't do OTR because of my kid, but I have seen a number of local gigs needing just a CDL-B, maybe with a tanker endorsement. Places like the local gravel pit or LPG station. But the problem there is the same problem as working for myself - I don't have the money to get started. Something as insignificant as the $140 fee is so beyond my current means it's not even funny.

The only way I'm still afloat is by robbing Peter to pay Paul, and then I pickpocket Paul's ass to make good with Steve. The word "precipice" has real meaning now. Dunno exactly where it is, but I'm close enough to feel the breeze.

OK, the Airing of Grievances.

Some of this is just random stuff, but some are things that YOU can do to make a real difference in a carrier's day. Maybe you don't care, that's fine. But some like to do nice things for people if it'll make them happy, especially when it takes almost no effort whatsoever. So, just in case I could make a difference, I'll list some.

Give Us Room. We're not emergency vehicles. You don't have to pull over or reduce speed to 15 or anything stupid. Hell, I don't care if you don't reduce speed at all. But do whatever it takes to give us a half a lane when you pass. If that means rolling off the throttle to allow oncoming to pass so you have room, just do it. There are guys that move not an inch, instead choosing to squeeze between me and oncoming traffic at speed. That's such an asshole move. Mail trucks move a lot, and unexpectedly. They are twitchy when they turn. Your 6" of room could disappear before you even have time to move your foot off the gas. And there ain't no safety inside, it's all hard metal surfaces. If you crank me from behind, I am not escaping serious injury. Best case I'm going to smash my head off the metal door behind me. Worst case I'll be actively delivering and your going to rip off my arm or even my head. It ain't worth it, and most of us have kids, and none of the RCA's have insurance. Don't be a dick.



Watch For Us. Yes, it totally our responsibility to drive in a safe manner, and mostly we do if for no other reason to save our own asses. But those 7 mirrors are a bitch. Oftentimes I glance to the left and don't "see" anything coming. What I haven't realized is when I looked left, where I looked happened to be where my two huge mirrors are, and what I "saw" looking left was actually a reflection of what's behind me and not the road to the left. Almost cranked a brand new Mustang yesterday because of that. I expected to look and see the road, and I looked and saw open road. So much is going on in your head it never clicked that what I saw was in my mirror, and the mirror was blocking where I was trying to look.



Don't Write On The Mail. You saw my brief explanation of what a day in the life is like. Missing a mis-sort or accidentally giving you your neighbor's stuff is going to happen. If it does, just put it back in your box and put the flag up. We'll get it the next day, and we know mail enough to see the problem and fix it without little notes or sarcastic comments. Some of these mistakes are things we have to fix ourselves by writing on it ourselves, and your writing messes it all up. Delivering is all about the rhythm, and seeing scribbles of arrows and explanations done in red sharpie is enough to erase all those mental numbers flying around. Plus, when we see it in our bundle, it causes confusion. Who wrote this? Was it the people I'm about to deliver it to and this is the wrong house? Or was it people from a different house, and this is now the right house? Just leave it in the box with the flag up. We'll fix it.

Boxes. I could already write a book on this, it drives me so mad. It's so important and the problems so pervasive, I need to break it into sections.

DO NOT BE CUTE WITH YOUR BOX. This doesn't mean you can't decorate it. Many are covered with wraps or have the giant fish box, that's fine. I actually really like the giant fish box, because it's well made and easy to flip open and flip shut. But funky boxes that serve more as decoration than a receptacle are ones I'm going to "accidentally" damage just so you get a new one. Just get a GD box and stop making my life hell =p



FORM FOLLOWS FUNCTION, ALWAYS. Buy a mailbox that suits your GD mail load. I got a guy, dude has the tiniest, top loading, rinky dink box on the route. It is absolutely the smallest box of all 661 of my stops. This effing guy also gets every pool digest, the Wall Street Journal, Cigar Aficionado (an absolutely enormous periodical), and a large chunk of DPS. Literally two pounds of mail, and he has this tiny, top loading box. My job is to get the mail in the box, period. So when your top loading door can't close, and the whole thing fills up with water, that is your problem. Buy a real box and stop being a ****.



FORM FOLLOWS FUNCTION, ALWAYS. If you are a QVC addict, or buy a bunch of Chinese dick pills every two weeks, or make a bunch of hippy necklaces and always get bead shipments, buy a box that can accommodate your mail. I have a dick pill guy, has a huge mailbox. Open the door and it's tamper proof. It has a locked second door with just a tiny slit for mail. /RAGE! I can't even get a finger in it, it's that small. So no matter the package, I have to cross a crazy busy street, dismount and deliver, then back into the same crazy street. Buy a real box and stop being a ****



Your Box Is Your Responsibility. If it's all bent up and won't close, I'm not getting out to fix it or spending 10 seconds hammering it shut. I have 660 other stops, and you're not a princess. If you just have it bungied to a stake in the ground and I can't open it without ripping it off the stake, I'm dropping the box on the ground and you get no mail. If your door is held on by a gutter spike through its bolt hole and it falls off when I touch it, I'm dropping the door on the ground and leaving the gutter spike where it fell. If your tab is broken off and the door is rusty and jagged and stuck on, I'm not prying it off and cutting my fingers all to hell. I have 660 other doors to open and 4,500 pieces of mail to riffle through, I'm not doing it with sore, bleeding fingers. It stays shut and you get no mail. If it's on a 4x4 that's just set in a cinder block with nothing to keep it stable, and just touching it causes the whole thing to fall over, your box stays in the weeds and you get no mail. If your box is only 16" off the ground and I can't reach it without dismounting, you get no mail. Get the point? Buy a real box and stop being a ****



Your Box Area Is Your Responsibility. Overgrowth I'm not too concerned about, both because it's not my truck and because they're not my trees. If you have overhanging branches, I have no qualms ripping every leaf and stitch of bark off of them with my roof and mirrors. But if one of those tree's branches has 2" thorns on it, and it catches my mirror, pulls back, and then snaps me in the face, you get no mail until you trim it. If you don't like that I drive on your grass to reach the box, you need to move your box closer to the road. If you don't like the trenches I dig in the soft shoulder, you need to lay down gravel. If you don't care and the trench causes me danger in becoming stuck, you get no mail.



MIND YOUR DOG. If you care for your dog's safety, you need to care for mine. I was kicking 40yd punts when I was 12, and have been playing hockey pretty much ever since. I don't care if it's a 5lb chihuahua or a 60lb pit; I don't have insurance. I love animals. I beep when I stop, I whistle on my way up, I hold screen doors shut with my foot, everything I can to prevent a dog bite. If one is out and I can't be sure, I don't get out and you get no mail. If I'm already out and one comes at me, that's your fault. Sorry about your dog, but congratz on owning the first dog on the moon.



And lastly, I love ya, but don't talk to me. If you are late in getting a letter to the street and find me later so I can take it, that's totally fine. If you're lost and need help finding a road, I'm happy to help. But being there to take the mail from me is not a courtesy. It actually screws me all up, because "How you doing?" erases all the signs in my head and I have to start over. If you have a package, don't find me on the street. Under no circumstances am I going to give it to you, I don't care how much of a hurry you're in or how much ID you have. I don't need you to stop me and tell me it won't fit into your box so it needs to go on the porch, I can handle that on my own quite well, TYVM. A smile and a nod is the perfect show of recognition and appreciation. Be my friendly acquaintance, not my best friend =)

Every second counts. A CCA needs to be at certain points at certain times, an RCA wants to get done to get home. 2 seconds here, 20 seconds there, after 661 stops it adds up to hours. Bitching aside, room on the road and a proper box are two of the most important things you can do to make us the happiest people on the job. Those big, steel plate (not stamped tin) boxes with magnets holding the doors shut? You people are doing God's work. Tiny, top loading or tamper proof? There's a special place in Hell just for you =p

Buy a real box and stop being a ****.

You are still at the stage where there are things you refuse to do, so you have a ways to go.

I learned some things from being severely broke before, one was confidence that I would find my way back up again. I was sued into bankruptcy at an early age, and every since then had no fear of losing a job. I also received state aid for 3 months.

I have long believed that something you cannot lose, something no one can take away, are skills. Having a trade for a back-up while making other plans served me very well.

That of course is looking at the world through worker's eyes, obviously there are other traits that are more profitable and a whole lot easier.

Have you thought about just doing stand up comedy? : )

Male, mail humor, a select but dedicated audience. No need to thank me, I am an idea guy.

Quote: petroglyph

You are still at the stage where there are things you refuse to do, so you have a ways to go.

Perhaps. I dunno. I can't imagine flipping burgers at McD's, for instance. But the only job I turned down, back in the winter, was because the only days I'd work was PT overnights on the exact only days I had my kid. With court in progress, the last thing I wanted was to report I no longer saw him at all =/

Quote: petroglyph

I have long believed that something you cannot lose, something no one can take away, are skills. Having a trade for a back-up while making other plans served me very well.

I agree, but there's still problems with that.

I can run a planer or a router, design a table from scratch and make it happen, I can weld up a trailer or build a race car, swap engines, wire engines, replace brakes, suspensions, wheels and tires, fab exhausts, and on and on. But for not a one of them do I have the type of experience an employer would look at twice. I never went to a vocational school, never held an actual job doing this stuff (except body work, which was way back in '97). It's all DIY around the house and for my own self. If you had a garage, would you hire a shadetree mechanic? Wouldn't you require some sort of assurance that the guy has a definitive background that can be proven?

I don't know how to turn a factory truck into a state snowplow. But I know tools. I have mechanical aptitude. I am least familiar with welding if not satisfactory, and while I don't know a thing about hydraulic systems, show me once and I could plumb and wire the thing by myself no problem. But how do you convince an employer of that?

I dunno. I think I'm proficient in written communication, and I try a lot harder on resumes and cover letters than I do a forum post. Still ain't working. Interviews? I kill interviews. I just can't seem to get even that far. Driving record is clean. I'm a Federal employee with an unrestricted carry permit, so there's no criminal record holding me back there. I ain't checked my credit report in donkey's years, but I always had good credit and no reason to suspect an issue, especially since my debt ratio has plummeted due to me getting out of debt. My social media is clean, so no worries I'm turning anyone off there (unless fishing with my kid and racing are frowned upon =p) I have references aplenty attesting to me rising to every occasion, even in difficult jobs for which I had no experience or applicable education, and not only have I not yet ever been Peter Principled, I excelled in them all. Something's missing, and I haven't been able to peg it yet.

Quote: petroglyph

Have you thought about just doing stand up comedy? : )

Male, mail humor, a select but dedicated audience. No need to thank me, I am an idea guy.

Lol, no. While I feel I'm really good at written communication, I ain't much of a talker. In that regard, my online persona is completely opposite my real life.

Where's the part where the bored and pretty ladies greet you at the door, flippin' their hair about with one hand, and barely holding a gown together with the other?

Quote: rxwine

Where's the part where the bored and pretty ladies greet you at the door, flippin' their hair about with one hand, and barely holding a gown together with the other?

Ha!

There's one, sometimes out doing yardwork in yoga pants and tank top. My RC pointed her out and I f#$%ed up the next three stops XD

So far I only have 4 regulars. First is an old man that's always apologizing for his trees. I just tell him it's OK and carry on. He finally trimmed them and just gives a knowing nod now. Next is a fancy lady in an HOA. Most of the HOA clan sort of eye me with suspicion. Dunno if it's the face or the cutoff sleeves or the music coming out of the truck or the cig hanging out my mouth, but whatever, I'm in a mail truck. I'm not gonna rob your fancy asses lol. She is ridiculously friendly. Almost scarily optimistic. Next is the lawnmower man. Always mowing his lawn and mentioning how it always grows, always stops to receive the mail. He's cool. Last is the mustachioed miss. She just waits, even if I'm a quarter mile away. Yesterday she was in a tank top, cargo shorts, and ski boots. She glares the whole time as I approach. Dunno what to make of her.

All these people are in my face, so I have to notice them. Hotties doing whatever I try to not notice. Too much going on, and they're far too efficient at erasing my signs =p