Corporate thought of the day

Page 3 of 5<12345>
February 20th, 2017 at 4:23:55 PM permalink
Nareed
Member since: Oct 24, 2012
Threads: 345
Posts: 12534
Given the higher number of printed pages per day vs the number of pages claimed by coworkers, the conclusion is the office printers amuse themselves at the expense of our office supply budget.
Donald Trump is a fucking liar
March 30th, 2017 at 7:45:12 AM permalink
Nareed
Member since: Oct 24, 2012
Threads: 345
Posts: 12534
Scene yesterday at the office:

Me: (trying to put together a price proposal for 259 products)
Supervisor: Hey, how do I do X in BLUESCREEN?
Boss: Hey, remember that project from seven years ago we decided not to take? Who won it?
Accounting: all your expense reports you did as we told you to do are wrong because you did them as we told you to do.
Supervisor: How do I do Y in BLUESCREEN?
Boss: Has client X posted the results that are due in three hours?

I hand in the price proposal and two small errors are found.

Office: you really ought to concentrate on your work.
Donald Trump is a fucking liar
September 5th, 2017 at 9:20:31 AM permalink
Nareed
Member since: Oct 24, 2012
Threads: 345
Posts: 12534
This happened the other day:

Boss: what was the margin for BLOAT last year?
Employee: Let me look it up.
Boss: You made the price list, how can you not recall the margin?
Employee: You gave me the margin to use, how can you not recall it?
Donald Trump is a fucking liar
September 28th, 2017 at 3:48:35 PM permalink
Nareed
Member since: Oct 24, 2012
Threads: 345
Posts: 12534
The Excel version at the office has two scrolling speeds:

1) Arthritic snail

2) Faster than light
Donald Trump is a fucking liar
November 12th, 2017 at 3:52:39 PM permalink
Nareed
Member since: Oct 24, 2012
Threads: 345
Posts: 12534
Seriously, typing "name.surname" as a login is not natural.
Donald Trump is a fucking liar
November 30th, 2017 at 9:32:32 AM permalink
Nareed
Member since: Oct 24, 2012
Threads: 345
Posts: 12534
Work becomes highly wasteful of time once you realize you cannot trust anything.
Donald Trump is a fucking liar
November 30th, 2017 at 11:21:28 AM permalink
rxwine
Member since: Oct 24, 2012
Threads: 129
Posts: 6217
Quote: Nareed
This happened the other day:

Boss: what was the margin for BLOAT last year?
Employee: Let me look it up.
Boss: You made the price list, how can you not recall the margin?
Employee: You gave me the margin to use, how can you not recall it?


Usually employees just think the last line.
Nobody learned anything from the global financial crisis.
November 30th, 2017 at 1:37:30 PM permalink
Nareed
Member since: Oct 24, 2012
Threads: 345
Posts: 12534
Quote: rxwine
Usually employees just think the last line.


I was thinking we do a lot of price lists for many different customers, with a wide variety of products, with varying margins dependent on several factors, and how is anyone supposed to remember very specific numbers from all that?
Donald Trump is a fucking liar
December 5th, 2017 at 4:23:55 PM permalink
Nareed
Member since: Oct 24, 2012
Threads: 345
Posts: 12534
It's a great relief when you find a whopper of an error in a price list, which throws your averages completely out of whack, and promptly trace the mistake to the customer's requirements rather than to something you did.
Donald Trump is a fucking liar
December 13th, 2017 at 7:05:12 AM permalink
Nareed
Member since: Oct 24, 2012
Threads: 345
Posts: 12534
It's a really bad idea to have a paranoid Type-A person in charge of a project.
Donald Trump is a fucking liar
Page 3 of 5<12345>