Corporate thought of the day

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February 20th, 2017 at 4:23:55 PM permalink
Nareed
Member since: Oct 24, 2012
Threads: 331
Posts: 11744
Given the higher number of printed pages per day vs the number of pages claimed by coworkers, the conclusion is the office printers amuse themselves at the expense of our office supply budget.
If Trump where half as smart as he thinks he is, he'd be twice as smart as he really is.
March 30th, 2017 at 7:45:12 AM permalink
Nareed
Member since: Oct 24, 2012
Threads: 331
Posts: 11744
Scene yesterday at the office:

Me: (trying to put together a price proposal for 259 products)
Supervisor: Hey, how do I do X in BLUESCREEN?
Boss: Hey, remember that project from seven years ago we decided not to take? Who won it?
Accounting: all your expense reports you did as we told you to do are wrong because you did them as we told you to do.
Supervisor: How do I do Y in BLUESCREEN?
Boss: Has client X posted the results that are due in three hours?

I hand in the price proposal and two small errors are found.

Office: you really ought to concentrate on your work.
If Trump where half as smart as he thinks he is, he'd be twice as smart as he really is.
September 5th, 2017 at 9:20:31 AM permalink
Nareed
Member since: Oct 24, 2012
Threads: 331
Posts: 11744
This happened the other day:

Boss: what was the margin for BLOAT last year?
Employee: Let me look it up.
Boss: You made the price list, how can you not recall the margin?
Employee: You gave me the margin to use, how can you not recall it?
If Trump where half as smart as he thinks he is, he'd be twice as smart as he really is.
September 28th, 2017 at 3:48:35 PM permalink
Nareed
Member since: Oct 24, 2012
Threads: 331
Posts: 11744
The Excel version at the office has two scrolling speeds:

1) Arthritic snail

2) Faster than light
If Trump where half as smart as he thinks he is, he'd be twice as smart as he really is.
November 12th, 2017 at 3:52:39 PM permalink
Nareed
Member since: Oct 24, 2012
Threads: 331
Posts: 11744
Seriously, typing "name.surname" as a login is not natural.
If Trump where half as smart as he thinks he is, he'd be twice as smart as he really is.
November 30th, 2017 at 9:32:32 AM permalink
Nareed
Member since: Oct 24, 2012
Threads: 331
Posts: 11744
Work becomes highly wasteful of time once you realize you cannot trust anything.
If Trump where half as smart as he thinks he is, he'd be twice as smart as he really is.
November 30th, 2017 at 11:21:28 AM permalink
rxwine
Member since: Oct 24, 2012
Threads: 121
Posts: 5524
Quote: Nareed
This happened the other day:

Boss: what was the margin for BLOAT last year?
Employee: Let me look it up.
Boss: You made the price list, how can you not recall the margin?
Employee: You gave me the margin to use, how can you not recall it?


Usually employees just think the last line.
No one has ever proven I am not God.
November 30th, 2017 at 1:37:30 PM permalink
Nareed
Member since: Oct 24, 2012
Threads: 331
Posts: 11744
Quote: rxwine
Usually employees just think the last line.


I was thinking we do a lot of price lists for many different customers, with a wide variety of products, with varying margins dependent on several factors, and how is anyone supposed to remember very specific numbers from all that?
If Trump where half as smart as he thinks he is, he'd be twice as smart as he really is.
December 5th, 2017 at 4:23:55 PM permalink
Nareed
Member since: Oct 24, 2012
Threads: 331
Posts: 11744
It's a great relief when you find a whopper of an error in a price list, which throws your averages completely out of whack, and promptly trace the mistake to the customer's requirements rather than to something you did.
If Trump where half as smart as he thinks he is, he'd be twice as smart as he really is.
December 13th, 2017 at 7:05:12 AM permalink
Nareed
Member since: Oct 24, 2012
Threads: 331
Posts: 11744
It's a really bad idea to have a paranoid Type-A person in charge of a project.
If Trump where half as smart as he thinks he is, he'd be twice as smart as he really is.
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