Remake It!

Okay, so the premise of this thread is that my fiancee and I were sitting around this morning and somehow the conversation turned to 90's television. Originally, we were discussing shows that you could never get away with today, and naturally, Married...With Children came up.

Anyway, the conversation turned into a remake/retooled version of the show since remakes seem to be so en vogue these days. We eventually agreed that the show could be done again if it was toned down just a little bit.

So, I wanted to share our ideas for a new version of Married...With Children, just for fun, and see if anyone else has any fun ideas for a remake of a classic show.

Married...With Children

SETTING: Modern 2020 (sans Covid-19) and a suburban area of a medium-sized city. Probably the Midwest. I understand that Chicago was the original setting of the show, although, the city itself didn't really come up much except in passing.

The Bundy family lives in the house that Al grew up in. Fully paid off and Al an only child, it was left to him by his deceased parents. It's implied that they also lived in the house with Al's parents while the kids, Kelly and Bud, were young.

CAST AND CHARACTERS:

Al Bundy--Played by Matt Peters (Joel Luschek-Orange is the New Black)

https://www.imdb.com/name/nm1835614/

Character Breakdown: A former high school football standout, Al Bundy, is an associate at a big box hardware store (think Lowe's or Home Depot) who sometimes does home carpentry/repair jobs on the side. A combination of his grades and a knee injury sustained playing Spring baseball prevented Bundy from getting any serious college scholarship offers.

In addition to the injury, standing only 5'8" and fairly immobile (Bundy was a high school quarterback in this iteration) it's strongly implied that he never would have made the NFL and probably would not have been offered a scholarship at any big name colleges. As far as Al himself is concerned, he maintains that he almost definitely would have made it to at least the CFL if not for his injury.

Bundy is a fairly intelligent man of 42 years of age who is noted to have had potential as a student, except for the fact that he is profoundly lazy (His laziness will be a recurring plot point with Peggy as well as Jefferson D'Arcy).

Bundy is a happy-go-lucky sort of fellow with the only exceptions being his general disappointment with his eldest child, Kelly, and being almost constantly nagged by wife, Peggy. It's pretty clear that Bundy is happy coasting along doing as little as absolutely necessary....which extends to his personal hygiene:

Peggy: Are you going to change your shirt, Al? You were wearing the same shirt two days ago.

Al: Peg, you already know that I only change my shirt after I shower.

Peggy is frequently on Al to be more ambitious, in general, and to be willing to leave town to, "Get back into construction," Bundy's former line of work before a stint of unemployment due to a temporary disability.

Bundy is moderately conservative with wife, Peggy, serving as a more Liberal foil. Peggy will frequently allude to how Al's conservative principles seemingly conflict with his lifestyle.

Al: Well, border security is an important issue. You don't want undocumented folks coming and taking the jobs from American citizens, do you?

Peggy: Like your ten dollar per hour job? Yeah. It sure would be a shame if something happened to that.

ANOTHER EXAMPLE:

Al: Look, college kids should pay just like we would have had to. The government handouts are getting ridiculous.

Peggy: Are they? You sure don't seem to mind sending me to the store with the EBT card at the beginning of the month.

Peggy Bundy--Played by TBD (We haven't come up with a good Peggy yet and decided to handicap ourselves by not being allowed to choose A-List talent)

Peggy Bundy is Al's wife whose occupation is homemaker. She frequently alludes to, "Maybe looking for a job," and Al laments that he wishes that she would. Peggy also seems to perpetually be, "Taking a few classes," at the local community college, despite the fact that she is also 42 years old...has been, "Taking a few classes," for several years and doesn't seem to have a degree in anything.

When financial times are tough and she's ragging Al, Al quickly points out that Peggy doesn't have a job and the conversation might go something like this:

Peggy: Homemaker IS a job, Al. It's the toughest job there is. Have you ever tried staying home and raising the kids?

Al: Toughest job there is? Have you ever watched, The Deadliest Catch? Go tell those guys that. Also, our daughter is 24 years old and Bud is about to be a senior in High School...I think they'll be okay to be home alone a few hours if you decide to become gainfully employed.

Peggy is sometimes helped in her studies by Jefferson and/or Marcy D'Arcy, who live across the street.

Herself somewhat hypocritical in her political views v. lifestyle, Peggy is quite the feminist, though it's frequently pointed out by Al that all of the checks cashed in the Bundy household for the last 25 years had his name on them.


Peggy and Al

Despite the back and forth between the two, sometimes biting, it's strongly enough implied that Peggy and Al actually love each other and giving one another a hard time is just a component of their relationship.

It's strongly implied that, though they grew to love one another, all was not marital bliss in the early years. Peggy, who aspired to be an actress, found herself impregnated (both believe that this happened the night that Al threw a winning touchdown that led his high school team into the state playoffs) and almost dropped out of high school. Peggy would give birth to Kelly in the Summer after senior year.

Kelly Bundy--Played by Kristen Stewart (Bella-Twilight)

https://www.imdb.com/name/nm0829576/?ref_=fn_al_nm_1

Kelly Bundy is a directionless young woman who mostly shares her mother's political views, and despite her shortcomings, is the apple of her dad's eye. Infrequently employed, 24 year-old Kelly theoretically pays rent to her parents, though it's explicitly stated that this almost never happens and that Al (in contrast to Peggy) never mentions it.

When she's not at home giving Bud a hard time, Kelly can be found doing basically the same thing that she did in High School---drinking with the college students at the local university and frequently sleeping with them, both guys and girls.

Generally carefree, in her rare moments of introspection, it occurs to Kelly that she isn't really going anywhere and is pretty close to, "Aging out," of her ever-revolving group of friends. In addition to other somewhat immature antics, Kelly (six years an adult) also sometimes gets in hot water for hosting parties at the Bundy house during the rare occasions her parents are gone overnight.

Kelly comes off as stupid and is, in reality, pretty vacuous. It's explicitly stated that she has a GED and sometimes considers attending the community college with her mom, except for the fact that, "I'd be in school with MY MOM...ugh!" and the fact that the college wants to start her off in some remedial classes for both math and composition.

Kelly is sometimes gainfully employed, though employers frequently try to take advantage of her sexually (something that she'll have nothing of, even though she's more than happy to be promiscuous on her own accord) and generally, most of the job opportunities she gets are either related to her looks (waitressing, bartending, bartending at a strip club, secretary) or she's an unqualified hire who gets the job due to her looks. (We see her as a legal assistant for one episode, something she'd be uniquely unqualified to do.)

Benjamin "Bud," Bundy--Played by TBD

Our thinking on Bud is that we want to have an actor who is young and not well-known at all, just so there's someone on the show that nobody's ever really seen in anything before.

Notable for his lecherous nature and quick-wit, Bud Bundy is otherwise unremarkable. He was not blessed with the athletic gifts that his father had at the same age and only plays baseball---where it's implied that he's not particularly good.

Bud coasts through high school in the High-C to Low-B GPA range and whether or not he'll get into the university or will have to do a couple years at the C.C. (which his mom attends, no less) is sometimes a subject. It's not really made clear whether or not he'd be capable of better if he really applied himself because there's nothing to suggest that Bud is as academically lazy as Al.

Bud is not a quintessential nerd, but he's on the nerdy side. Aside from baseball, it's known that he participates in a few school clubs to include Chess Club and French Club. Knowing that nobody in the house speaks French, he'll sometimes deliver his more caustic insults in his second tongue. This will sometimes get a rise out of the D'Arcy's, when they are over, who both are known to speak passable French.

When he's not in school, Bud works part-time as a pizza delivery boy (excuse for different show settings and Bud/Kelly interactions) and is otherwise pretty content just to lounge around at home.

Bud and Al don't have your stereotypical pie-in-the-sky father/son relationship, but it's fairly clear that they don't dislike one another or anything. Al is perhaps a little disappointed at Bud's lack of athletic prowess, but other than the occasional crack, doesn't really show it.

Jefferson D'Arcy--Played by Ted McGinley (Jefferson D'Arcy---Married...with Children)

https://www.imdb.com/name/nm0569337/

For this, we decided that it would be a nice idea for a remake to have a consistent familiar element, so this seems like something that would work.

At the same time, we wanted there to be some sort of reason that the D'Arcy couple would spend so much time with the Bundy family---who the original show basically made clear they had every reason not to like. (Though moreso when Steve was Marcy's husband).

Other than being the same actor, this version of Jefferson has nothing to do with the other one. This Jefferson D'Arcy is a retired high school English teacher who was previously one of the teachers for Al, Peggy and Kelly. This fact will lead to some sardonic ammunition for his jokes.

Having lived across the street from Al Bundy for most of Al's life (Jefferson is 64 years of age) it's known that Al was high school friends with Jefferson's eldest son and that both were on the football team. Jefferson's Eldest son, Cooper D'Arcy, would later go on to law school and now lives out of town (but often visits) and is a reasonably successful injury lawyer. Jokes will often compare how Al turned out compared to Cooper with Al taking shots at Cooper being, "Nothing more than an ambulance chaser."

Jefferson: Well, Al, he's an ambulance chaser with money---what do you have---a 10% employee discount?

Despite Al being basically a thorn in Jefferson's side when he was younger and a bad influence on Cooper, he still likes Al well-enough---they're on the same bowling team, and Jefferson and Marcy D'Arcy will sometimes help Peggy and Bud along in their studies. Jefferson and Marcy will even help Al and Peggy along during the rare serious marital conflicts.

Again, the fact that Jefferson was one of Al's teachers will also give some good material for both:

Jefferson: Hey Al, I think a few of the planks need replaced on my deck. Do you think you can help me out?

Al: How much are you paying?

Jefferson: Paying? How about you pay us for coming over to tutor Peggy?

Al: Yeah..and look at how well that's going. It's COSTING me money. We're going to have to start making tuition payments sometime and she's still not going to have a job.

Jefferson: She's starting to come along.

Al: You said that five years ago too. You said that about ME 25 years ago. Well, I'll start to come along and fix your deck for a hundred bucks or a new ball and bowling shoes.

Marcy D'Arcy--Played by Wendie Malick (Almost everything)

https://www.imdb.com/name/nm0005176/

Wendie Malick is the ultimate in, "I know I've seen her before, but I can't think of..." Anyway, she's a recognized face and, if it's been on TV in the last twenty years, she's probably been a guest star at some point. You might know her as Monte's mother in Waiting or as the principal in the second Alvin and the Chipmunks movie, for those of you with kids or grandkids.

Marcy D'Arcy is a retired college business professor who is about the same age as Jefferson. While her and Peggy mostly agree on political issues, Marcy can much better articulate their shared positions and has a reason for them that goes beyond, "Free stuff."

Despite this agreement, Marcy's stance towards the family Bundy is much more sardonic, if not outright cynical at times. While Jefferson's take on the family is something along the lines of, "At least they're...sort of trying," Marcy frequently makes known that the only reason that they don't live in public housing is because Al's parents left them the house. Marcy also frequently makes known that, while Al shares his late father's political perspective, his father actually embodied the, "Hard-working American," stereotype...and Al's just a lazy ass.

Al often bites back referring to Marcy's former position as a professor, "One of the former heads of the Radical Left Indoctrination Camp."

While Jefferson and Marcy are both avid bowlers, it's made clear that they also enjoy some of the finer things in life, such as wine-tastings, which the Bundy's would know nothing about. This could be made evident by inviting Al & Peggy to a wine-tasting, at which the pair proceeds to each fill a wine glass nearly to the top and slam it down in one gulp.

It's known that Jefferson and Marcy met during Jefferson's senior year in college, at which point Jefferson graduated and went into teaching public school while Marcy continued through college until getting her doctorate. On rare occasions, she'll give Jefferson a hard time over where the bulk of the money comes from:

Jefferson: So, we took a little bit of our retirement account and invested in Tesla--man did that soar! It's good to get out on top.

Marcy: OUR retirement account? I guess, but eighty-two percent of it is mine.

Jefferson: Oh, that's not what you said when my job covered you being able to focus on post-graduate work!

Marcy: You can have that money back if you want it. I think I'll be fine.

Wow, I read about half of your post just because when I was younger I was a huge fan of Married With Children. i sure hope they don't try to remake it as I think it is still playing in syndication and in my opinion was one of the best sitcoms of the last 40 years.

I know that the Wizard loves to do sitcom trivia, I think this would be the only show that I could compete with him at trivia. I probably saw each episode at least 5 times.

Quote: DRich

in my opinion was one of the best sitcoms of the last 40 years.

Still the Fox network's 2nd longest running non-animated tv series (ranked by number of episodes)

1. | 694 | 17. Dec. 1989 The Simpsons ANIMATED
2. | 358 | 31. Jan. 1999 Family Guy ANIMATED
3. | 300 | 06. Feb. 2005 American Dad! ANIMATED
4. | 259 | 12. Jan. 1997 King of the Hill ANIMATED
5. | 204 | 09. Jan. 2011 Bob's Burgers ANIMATED
6. | 140 | 28. Mar. 1999 Futurama ANIMATED
   ...
7. | 293 | 04. Oct. 1990 Beverly Hills, 90210
8. | 259 | 05. Apr. 1987 Married... with Children
9. | 246 | 13. Sep. 2005 Bones
10. | 228 | 06. Nov. 2001 24
11. | 226 | 08. Jul. 1992 Melrose Place
12. | 218 | 10. Sep. 1993 The X-Files
13. | 200 | 23. Aug. 1998 That '70s Show
14. | 177 | 16. Nov. 2004 House M.D.
15. | 151 | 09. Jan. 2000 Malcolm in the Middle
16. | 146 | 20. Sep. 2011 New Girl

If you notice that there is only one start date in the last decade for non animated shows, you realize that the market is no longer there. Salary demands simply end a show before it can be on for more than 150 episodes.

Quote: DRich

Wow, I read about half of your post just because when I was younger I was a huge fan of Married With Children. i sure hope they don't try to remake it as I think it is still playing in syndication and in my opinion was one of the best sitcoms of the last 40 years.

I know that the Wizard loves to do sitcom trivia, I think this would be the only show that I could compete with him at trivia. I probably saw each episode at least 5 times.

Why not remake it? I could see it working out. The heart of it is that it's just a sitcom about a low-class family, so you'd really just be bringing the societal/political elements of the show up 25 years.

I agree that it was one of the best sitcoms certainly of my life...which is less than forty years. I'd probably only put Cheers, Frasier and maybe Seinfeld higher overall. I'd call it a virtual tie with, Roseanne which wasn't really a fundamentally different show except for the Conners being a little tighter of a family.

I'd normally put, Wings up there, but not anymore watching it as an adult. I still like the show, but it's extremely formulaic and repetitive...which I guess escaped my attention between the ages of six and thirteen. In fairness to the writers, conceptually, I definitely understand running out of places to take a show about a small airport owner/pilot on an island.

Quote: Mission146

Originally, we were discussing shows that you could never get away with today, and naturally, Married...With Children came up.

I enjoyed the show. It was a hoot
but
I dont see why you could not get away with it today
Southpark is on and it gets away with a lot more then MWC ever got away with

Quote: Pacomartin

If you notice that there is only one start date in the last decade for non animated shows, you realize that the market is no longer there. Salary demands simply end a show before it can be on for more than 150 episodes.

I don't think it's a question of market, per se, just that viewers are always wanting new stuff and they simply choose not to beat a dead horse anymore.

Just on FOX, and I watch almost zero TV, Lucifer, (since sold to Netflix) was a huge show and The Orville, (since sold to HULU) had quite a loyal following and both still do. I think another aspect is that live-action is just more expensive to make, in general, even without taking salaries into consideration.

In my non-qualified opinion, shows probably should only run anywhere from 3-5 total seasons, otherwise, you just run out of episode topics or broader things for the characters to do.

Quote: terapined

Quote: Mission146

Originally, we were discussing shows that you could never get away with today, and naturally, Married...With Children came up.

I enjoyed the show. It was a hoot
but
I dont see why you could not get away with it today
Southpark is on and it gets away with a lot more then MWC ever got away with

It depends. South Park is on Comedy Central, for one thing, whereas MWC would be on Fox. My understanding from interviews with Seth MacFarlane is that even Family Guy was asked to tone certain stuff down compared to where it started and it rarely went as far with anything as South Park does in any given episode.

I think with, "Wokeness," and, "Social Justice," and stuff like that they'd have to tread a little more lightly than they did...but it could still be pretty funny and one of the more cynical shows out there.

I enjoyed watching MWC, but it wasn't must-see for me. I may have seen 8 or 10 episodes. But wasn't the original Bud supposed to me a smart?

For me:
20th century sitcoms:
1. Seinfeld
2. Cheers
3. Frasier
4. M*A*S*H

21st century:
1. 30 Rock
2. Parks and Rec
3. Community

I separate them because I can't seem to compare the two eras. They are just too partitioned in my brain.

I agree with you guys about Cheers. That may be my favorite sitcom.

Quote: JimRockford

I enjoyed watching MWC, but it wasn't must-see for me. I may have seen 8 or 10 episodes. But wasn't the original Bud supposed to me a smart?

For me:
20th century sitcoms:
1. Seinfeld
2. Cheers
3. Frasier
4. M*A*S*H

21st century:
1. 30 Rock
2. Parks and Rec
3. Community

I separate them because I can't seem to compare the two eras. They are just too partitioned in my brain.

I think the original Bud was meant to be smart, but they seem to have largely abandoned that, or it didn't end up really being a focal point. I should have mentioned M*A*S*H, which of Hawkeye's sidekicks did you prefer?