Physics, math, science and science fiction jokes
June 26th, 2016 at 7:02:45 AM permalink | |
Nareed Member since: Oct 24, 2012 Threads: 346 Posts: 12545 | “You know," said Arthur, "it's at times like this, when I'm trapped in a Vogon airlock with a man from Betelgeuse, and about to die of asphyxiation in deep space that I really wish I'd listened to what my mother told me when I was young." "Why, what did she tell you?" "I don't know, I didn't listen.” ― Douglas Adams, The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy Donald Trump is a one-term LOSER |
July 9th, 2016 at 1:15:03 PM permalink | |
Nareed Member since: Oct 24, 2012 Threads: 346 Posts: 12545 | Probably Adams' best: “Now it is such a bizarrely improbable coincidence that anything so mind-bogglingly useful could have evolved purely by chance that some thinkers have chosen to see it as the final and clinching proof of the non-existence of God. The argument goes something like this: "I refuse to prove that I exist,'" says God, "for proof denies faith, and without faith I am nothing." "But," says Man, "The Babel fish is a dead giveaway, isn't it? It could not have evolved by chance. It proves you exist, and so therefore, by your own arguments, you don't. QED." "Oh dear," says God, "I hadn't thought of that," and promptly vanishes in a puff of logic. "Oh, that was easy," says Man, and for an encore goes on to prove that black is white and gets himself killed on the next zebra crossing.” ― Douglas Adams, The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy Donald Trump is a one-term LOSER |
July 9th, 2016 at 9:58:20 PM permalink | |
Pacomartin Member since: Oct 24, 2012 Threads: 1068 Posts: 12569 |
Not a math joke, but a surprisingly insightful observation.
One of my all time favorites.
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July 10th, 2016 at 6:40:46 AM permalink | |
Nareed Member since: Oct 24, 2012 Threads: 346 Posts: 12545 |
That's actually a bit of an SF trope. Offhand, I recall Clarke used it in two of his latter works "Imperial Earth," and "Songs of Distant Earth." A line in the former went something like "We want a person we'll have to drag kicking and screaming to the White House, but who will do a god job once there." Donald Trump is a one-term LOSER |
July 16th, 2016 at 8:19:34 PM permalink | |
Nareed Member since: Oct 24, 2012 Threads: 346 Posts: 12545 | Very fitting for this year: “It comes from a very ancient democracy, you see..." "You mean, it comes from a world of lizards?" "No," said Ford, who by this time was a little more rational and coherent than he had been, having finally had the coffee forced down him, "nothing so simple. Nothing anything like so straightforward. On its world, the people are people. The leaders are lizards. The people hate the lizards and the lizards rule the people." "Odd," said Arthur, "I thought you said it was a democracy." "I did," said Ford. "It is." "So," said Arthur, hoping he wasn't sounding ridiculously obtuse, "why don't people get rid of the lizards?" "It honestly doesn't occur to them," said Ford. "They've all got the vote, so they all pretty much assume that the government they've voted in more or less approximates to the government they want." "You mean they actually vote for the lizards?" "Oh yes," said Ford with a shrug, "of course." "But," said Arthur, going for the big one again, "why?" "Because if they didn't vote for a lizard," said Ford, "the wrong lizard might get in. Got any gin?" "What?" "I said," said Ford, with an increasing air of urgency creeping into his voice, "have you got any gin?" "I'll look. Tell me about the lizards." Ford shrugged again. "Some people say that the lizards are the best thing that ever happened to them," he said. "They're completely wrong of course, completely and utterly wrong, but someone's got to say it." "But that's terrible," said Arthur. "Listen, bud," said Ford, "if I had one Altairian dollar for every time I heard one bit of the Universe look at another bit of the Universe and say 'That's terrible' I wouldn't be sitting here like a lemon looking for a gin.” ― Douglas Adams, So Long, and Thanks for All the Fish Donald Trump is a one-term LOSER |
July 27th, 2016 at 2:53:10 PM permalink | |
Nareed Member since: Oct 24, 2012 Threads: 346 Posts: 12545 | Not the place for this, but I won't start a new thread for just one mildly funny joke: So there are these two muffins baking in an oven. One of them yells, “Wow, it’s hot in here!” And the other muffin replies: “Holy cow! A talking muffin!” Donald Trump is a one-term LOSER |
October 18th, 2016 at 9:30:38 AM permalink | |
Nareed Member since: Oct 24, 2012 Threads: 346 Posts: 12545 | Rick: I totally remember doing that, but also I'd never do that! Rick (to Morty when they see a collection of Morties being tortured): I've done just that myself. ON PAPER! I'd never do it for real. Not when you get the same effect with five Morties and jumper cables. ON PAPER! Rick: That's why you don't stop time for long. It's completely irresponsible. Morty: But you stopped time for six months just so we could clean the house after the party! Rick: There's no time to hold me accountable. literally. Look outside: there is NO TIME! Rick: Don't pay for cool stuff with your soul. Pay with your money. Donald Trump is a one-term LOSER |
October 19th, 2016 at 7:52:24 AM permalink | |
Nareed Member since: Oct 24, 2012 Threads: 346 Posts: 12545 | Morty: Oh, boy. W-what's wrong, Rick? Is it the quantum carburetor or something? Rick: "Quantum carburetor"? Jesus, Morty. You can't just add a sci-fi word to a car word and hope it means something. Huh, looks like something's wrong with the microverse battery. Donald Trump is a one-term LOSER |
October 20th, 2016 at 10:12:49 AM permalink | |
Nareed Member since: Oct 24, 2012 Threads: 346 Posts: 12545 | Jerry: Uh, Rick, is there anything you'd like to tell us about your relationship with this... previously unknown galactic government? Rick: All the important points seem pretty clear, no? They think they control the galaxy, I disagree. Don't hate the player, hate the game, son. Donald Trump is a one-term LOSER |
May 15th, 2017 at 1:52:19 PM permalink | |
Nareed Member since: Oct 24, 2012 Threads: 346 Posts: 12545 | Drink all your drugs: https://youtu.be/jxDZKGCyPaY Donald Trump is a one-term LOSER |