Simple question?
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July 18th, 2017 at 11:47:41 AM permalink | |
Evenbob Member since: Oct 24, 2012 Threads: 146 Posts: 25011 |
Really? You'll stand behind this ridiculous statement?
Yet almost nobody really does it, do they. They say they've forgiven, even believe they have, but the resentment and distrust lie just below the surface waiting to pounce. What you call forgiveness isn't that at all. It's just a way to get somebody to keep dealing with the person they resent without wanting to kill them every day. That is NOT forgiveness, that's a coping mechanism. Find me a woman who has truly forgiven her husband for cheating on her. They don't exist.
How? They have nothing to compare it to. And people are extremely gullible, they believe whatever they're told. 'God has forgiven you.' No way to prove it, no way to verify it, they just have your word that it's true. What a racket you have, you sell things that don't exist and there are plenty of buyers. Suckers, I mean. If you take a risk, you may lose. If you never take a risk, you will always lose. |
July 18th, 2017 at 2:20:49 PM permalink | |
FrGamble Member since: Oct 24, 2012 Threads: 67 Posts: 7596 |
Yes they do! Almost every healthy person has had the experience of being forgiven or forgiving others. It is a hallmark of humanity our ability to forgive and the benefits that come from it.
You are right what I call forgiveness does NOT mean lingering resentments and distrust. It is a true forgiveness and a freedom from the anger and hurt that only hinders the person holding the grudge from living their life.
I agree. I'm not talking about a coping mechanism, I am talking about true freedom and real forgiveness. I hope you don't think forgiveness means forgetting, because it is not that as well. Many times, and in all serious cases, the person who is forgiving hopefully never deals with or has contact with the person they forgive again. Forgiveness is not for the one who has caused the pain, it is for the victim. So they no longer carry the wound, they can be set free, and learn from their past experiences. I hope you understand that because a lot of people get in trouble thinking that I have only forgiven the person when I have forgotten about the hurt or when I can be friends with them again. This is usually impossible and can cause great harm.
They very much do exist. How many do you want to meet? I can also introduce you to men who have forgiven their wives for cheating.
Maybe you do, but the average person does not. Sometimes I think you live on an alien planet somewhere.
First of all I sell absolutely nothing. Secondly, what proof is there of true forgiveness when it is obtained? It is a feeling, but deeper and lasting. It is the taste of freedom and you can't fake that. “It is with the smallest brushes that the artist paints the most exquisitely beautiful pictures.” ( |
July 18th, 2017 at 2:56:37 PM permalink | |
Evenbob Member since: Oct 24, 2012 Threads: 146 Posts: 25011 |
No they haven't, not the real thing. The ersatz brand you sell is just words, it only goes skin deep.
It's not even close, but keep deluding yourself, lord knows you're an expert at it.
What the what!!??? True forgiveness only works if you deal face to face with the other person, otherwise it's just denial and avoidance. Which isn't forgiveness at all. You teach people how to bury and suppress their feelings if you don't let them work it out with the other person. Good luck trying to forgive a dead person, that's very difficult and takes years of work.
Or at least think they have. But really haven't.
You sell your religion and all that it entails. You sell hocus pocus, the supernatural, and urban myths that you say aren't myths at all. You have a whole bag full of stuff you're selling. If you take a risk, you may lose. If you never take a risk, you will always lose. |
July 18th, 2017 at 3:10:44 PM permalink | |
FrGamble Member since: Oct 24, 2012 Threads: 67 Posts: 7596 |
I don't know why you say this. Sometimes it is not possible to deal face to face with someone who has hurt you deeply. If someone rapes you I don't see why forgiveness means you have to deal face to face with that person, other than seeing them in court. Remember, forgiveness is not for the one who caused the pain, it is for the victim. It is what frees them from carrying and continuing to be hurt by some evil done to them. What possible advantage is it for the victim to deal face to face with the one who has hurt them? Now of course I am talking about serious things here like rape, murder, and abuse. I also know of cases where the person did want to confront the person who hurt them and was strong enough to do so. What I want to make sure you are not saying is that you equate forgiveness with forgetting. To forgive someone does not mean that you treat them as if nothing ever happened or to just pretend hey haven't hurt you. That is false forgiveness and can be very harmful. That isn't what you mean is it?
Exactly the opposite. Burying or suppressing feelings never work. Nor does yelling and screaming at some one or revenge. There are ways to deal in a healthy way with your feelings that doesn't mean you need to "work it out" with the other person. This is especially true for serious matters. Remember they are your feelings and the other person is not in control of what you feel. In fact true forgiveness gives you the freedom to take back control of your life and your feelings no matter what or how another person may act. I hope you get this.
Are you sure? “It is with the smallest brushes that the artist paints the most exquisitely beautiful pictures.” ( |
July 18th, 2017 at 3:25:28 PM permalink | |
Evenbob Member since: Oct 24, 2012 Threads: 146 Posts: 25011 |
If you don't, any forgiveness you feel will be shallow and is more about burying feelings than dealing with them.
Not if you want true forgiveness. If you just want a coping mechanism, which most people do, what you provide is fine. Just quit thinking it's forgiveness, because it's not.
But this rarely happens, almost never. You apparently think it does, but you have a lot of strange ideas. You don't see the world as it is, but as they way you think it should be. They aren't the same thing, not even close. Are you sure? If you take a risk, you may lose. If you never take a risk, you will always lose. |
July 18th, 2017 at 3:44:44 PM permalink | |
FrGamble Member since: Oct 24, 2012 Threads: 67 Posts: 7596 |
Again, burying feelings is not forgiveness. Please explain to me why I need to reconcile with you face to face if you kill someone I love.
So for you true forgiveness means you have to have the person who hurt you in your life somehow?!? Does it mean you have to be friends with them too? I know you are not saying that true forgiveness is only when you can be friends again with the person who robbed you.
Oh my God it happens a lot. Maybe you haven't experienced it or don't want to so you think it doesn't happen all the time but it does. It is how people heal from the experience of evil or pain in their lives. If the kind of forgiveness that gives you back control of your life and your feelings happens so rarely how do you explain so many good and healthy people in the world. If true forgiveness was a rare as you think it is the world would be in a much bigger problem than it is now. “It is with the smallest brushes that the artist paints the most exquisitely beautiful pictures.” ( |
July 18th, 2017 at 3:51:55 PM permalink | |
Evenbob Member since: Oct 24, 2012 Threads: 146 Posts: 25011 |
Because if you forgive someone from afar, it's just a concept, it's not real. You see all the time people going to prisons to confront those who wronged them.
It means confronting them and working things out, not moving in together and being BFF's. Get real.
OMG, no it doesn't. I have to remember you think the wine and bread really turn into the body and blood of Jesus, and your words have actual magical power. You believe that a god watches your every move and some you'll be judged. You believe a basket full of wacky things, what's one more. If you take a risk, you may lose. If you never take a risk, you will always lose. |
July 18th, 2017 at 5:03:36 PM permalink | |
FrGamble Member since: Oct 24, 2012 Threads: 67 Posts: 7596 |
So you think it is necessary to confront someone face to face and "work it out" with them for it to be real forgiveness. By "work it out" does that mean the other person has to accept your forgiveness or apologize or something like that? Don't you think that just gives the abuser another way to control and determine how the victim feels? This is precisely why a face to face confrontation is not necessary for someone to obtain the freedom of forgiveness. “It is with the smallest brushes that the artist paints the most exquisitely beautiful pictures.” ( |
July 18th, 2017 at 5:06:45 PM permalink | |
Evenbob Member since: Oct 24, 2012 Threads: 146 Posts: 25011 |
You can only be controlled if you let yourself be controlled. That's part of what this is all about. If you take a risk, you may lose. If you never take a risk, you will always lose. |
July 18th, 2017 at 5:51:31 PM permalink | |
FrGamble Member since: Oct 24, 2012 Threads: 67 Posts: 7596 |
Good so that means you don't need to confront someone face to face to experience the freedom of forgiveness, right? “It is with the smallest brushes that the artist paints the most exquisitely beautiful pictures.” ( |