Pet Peeves

Quote: missedhervee

My vote: "It."

‘It’ makes total sense. But the LGBTQ+ community rejected it as ‘dehumanizing’. As AZ points out, he describes a male human, she describes a female human, and it describes other living creatures. As best I can tell this athlete is a gay male that wants more attention. He/they/it is getting it.

Quote: SOOPOO

‘It’ makes total sense. But the LGBTQ+ community rejected it as ‘dehumanizing’. As AZ points out, he describes a male human, she describes a female human, and it describes other living creatures. As best I can tell this athlete is a gay male that wants more attention. He/they/it is getting it.

Of course, everyone is free to think whatever they want, but in my opinion, you should give the person the same courtesy as someone who has a glass eye or a toupee. Unless they tell you they want to be referred to as "one eye" or "baldy" you deal with them as they prefer at least on a personal reference level.

OK, but what do you sayif you don't have a clue as to whether it's a man or a woman?

Quote: missedhervee

OK, but what do you sayif you don't have a clue as to whether it's a man or a woman?

If you have to know and there is no other way to know, you ask. If it's really unclear it probably won't be the first time they were asked. When I lived in Vegas, there was a security guard at one of the casinos who I could never figure out one way or another. About as close to the "Pat" character on old SNL skits as you could get. But I never had any reason to find out, so never did.

Quote: rxwine

Of course, everyone is free to think whatever they want, but in my opinion, you should give the person the same courtesy as someone who has a glass eye or a toupee. Unless they tell you they want to be referred to as "one eye" or "baldy" you deal with them as they prefer at least on a personal reference level.

This should be more commonly known. If you are friends with somebody or work with somebody you probably know what they want to be called. If it is a random stranger, you probably do not care.

Even if it is a random stranger, how often is gender relevant, does anyone go up to a random stranger and say, "Hey you random male you dropped a paper"..... I think people obsess to much over something that realistically will never come up.

The only somewhat relevant circumstance is the military where you are legally obligated to address random higher-ranking officers as sir or ma'am, and if you are passing one and giving the greeting of the day, and are unsure of the gender (this can frequently be a problem with females with short hair or shaved heads and people with non prominent faces), I am sure they get over it.... To be honest the safest bet is to say "Good X Sir" and keep quickly walking while saluting, because statistically you will be right most of the time, and males tend to get more upset than females for being wrongly stated (also I kind of like the old school scifi military books, where everyone higher than you is just called "Sir" instead of gender conforming terms, seems like it would make things way easier and less awkward, or you can make it where everyone is just addressed by rank and forget the whole sir and ma'am thing).

Anyway, the point is this is a non-issue for most Americans. Has anyone actually encountered a stranger in the last year that they had to both quickly identify and address by gender in a matter of seconds? (Unless you are in the military, I am guessing the answer is no). Its one of those hypotheticals that never comes into play in the real world.

Quote: Gandler

This should be more commonly known. If you are friends with somebody or work with somebody you probably know what they want to be called. If it is a random stranger, you probably do not care.

Even if it is a random stranger, how often is gender relevant, does anyone go up to a random stranger and say, "Hey you random male you dropped a paper"..... I think people obsess to much over something that realistically will never come up.

The only somewhat relevant circumstance is the military where you are legally obligated to address random higher-ranking officers as sir or ma'am, and if you are passing one and giving the greeting of the day, and are unsure of the gender (this can frequently be a problem with females with short hair or shaved heads and people with non prominent faces), I am sure they get over it.... To be honest the safest bet is to say "Good X Sir" and keep quickly walking while saluting, because statistically you will be right most of the time, and males tend to get more upset than females for being wrongly stated (also I kind of like the old school scifi military books, where everyone higher than you is just called "Sir" instead of gender conforming terms, seems like it would make things way easier and less awkward, or you can make it where everyone is just addressed by rank and forget the whole sir and ma'am thing).

Anyway, the point is this is a non-issue for most Americans. Has anyone actually encountered a stranger in the last year that they had to both quickly identify and address by gender in a matter of seconds? (Unless you are in the military, I am guessing the answer is no). Its one of those hypotheticals that never comes into play in the real world.

Can I help you Sir(Mam) is a pretty common greeting.

Quote: kenarman

Can I help you Sir(Mam) is a pretty common greeting.

Go with the trusty "Yo"

Quote: Gandler

Anyway, the point is this is a non-issue for most Americans. Has anyone actually encountered a stranger in the last year that they had to both quickly identify and address by gender in a matter of seconds? (Unless you are in the military, I am guessing the answer is no). Its one of those hypotheticals that never comes into play in the real world.

It need not require interacting with the person directly; consider this: you see your son walking down the street with a person of unclear sex.

Later, you decide to ask him who his new friend is.

Of course you could cop out and ask "who is your new friend?" but that is not how it's usually done; no, usually you'd say "who was that guy" or "who was that girl I saw you walking with today enroute to the bathhouse?"

Maybe some questions should never be asked.

Quote: Gandler

The only somewhat relevant circumstance is the military where you are legally obligated to address random higher-ranking officers as sir or ma'am, and if you are passing one and giving the greeting of the day, and are unsure of the gender (this can frequently be a problem with females with short hair or shaved heads and people with non prominent faces), I am sure they get over it.... To be honest the safest bet is to say "Good X Sir" and keep quickly walking while saluting, because statistically you will be right most of the time, and males tend to get more upset than females for being wrongly stated (also I kind of like the old school scifi military books, where everyone higher than you is just called "Sir" instead of gender conforming terms, seems like it would make things way easier and less awkward, or you can make it where everyone is just addressed by rank and forget the whole sir and ma'am thing).

A running gag on MASH was Radar calling Margaret "sir" probably because she was more alpha male than Burns.

Quote: AZDuffman

A running gag on MASH was Radar calling Margaret "sir" probably because she was more alpha male than Burns.

I miss Frank Burns. He was definitely the best character on that show, I still record MASH and watch it on Mondays.